Why Housewives Go blahhhh in Blue Light Hotels

30 09 2007

Dumbfounded on a bar stool in a dim corner sat Burt. He loves olives, rap music and pretty girls. Burt is 55 and boasts about how much he hates being white and middle age. He comes to the strip bar and leaves alone every other Tuesday night. He will only to talk to the new dancer of the week. Burt is generous as long as you keep his olive glass full of spicy hot foreplay talk.

Burt’s broad chest was like a boey dancing on and obeying invisible waves. Without a capital S underneath the plaid shirt, the tiny squares might as well have been painted on. His pale jaw was out of place lip syncing the words…


They call me SUPERMAN I know what you wanna hear I’m here to save you Girl COME be in Shady’s World I wanna grow with you

The Bar was his hero’s telephone booth. Once inside he could pull the strings and sound the alarm. The fire pole was going to be climbed to mesmerize him. He loved it. He cleared his schedule for his Tuesday night out and brought many crisp singles.

After the first time I got a nice tip from, I asked other ladies that had sat with him what was his deal. They quickly informed me that he only like the ‘new girls’.

You only get lucky with that one once, Mika. One vet giggled.

If I were going to get another round in, I would need to have help and to plan every detail carefully. Everyone involved would need to be tipped for their time and effort. I decided that I would sit with him again. The big question was exactly how new did one need to be.

Was his sense of freshness measured by hair color, accent, race, height, weight, scent, breast size, rump roast or ability to stay optimistic? It was Any-body’s guess because no one could remember being invited to sit with him more than once.

I made up my mind to get another round. It is not that he was so charming that I went to bed reminiscing about his dashing presence- no, I was just curious. I love playing dress up and putting on a the Ritz. Making money just doing that right is a blast. It is basically what Showgirls want from every exchange.

I’m so cute- adore me, tip me big Spender
An hour next door to his mind promised a certain insight to a man’s desires.

Your entertainment brings me the most joy- tip me

He was non-confrontational and easy to talk to even though he bobbed his head to some hardcore rap. In between mouthing the raw lyrics, he did ask personal stuff like, what side of town I was from, where I’d danced before, what turned me on, if I had any pets, what my favorite food was etc. It didn’t bother me. The chore of making up and learning a new script for another session didn’t bother me either.

I’m your Genie- try to Pop my cork

It’s no secret, I get wet when I see the almighty dollar. Twenties are even better.

He also contributed $20 to the music but wanted me to pick the songs. (This was the hardest angle to figure out. $20 is a lot of songs even if you pick ones that have never been downloaded)

Finally some one rescued me by yelling: Mika stand away from the jute box!

Spend a little more time with me

The following Tuesday, my show bag was packed for a good time, I wore a curly wig and a different shade of lipstick and higher shoe. I wrote down 20 songs and stuck the cheat sheet into my stocking. My goal was to have a different routine than the previous week. Everyone adjusts their gait in higher shoes. I was banking on all black girls looking alike to him.

According to my research the top hip hop rap songs and Artists for October 2007 are as follows- This took a while because I really can’t stand Eminem so I ignored all of his songs on the DJ charts. I lined up the following songs to play for Burt’s visit. This was really new for me:

1. Kiss Kiss – Chris Brown featuring T- Pain

2. We On- GemStones (a.k.a Gemini) ft. Lupe Fiasco and Pooh Bear

3. Hypnotized – Plies ft. Akon

4.When I Roll Up- Attitude

5. Good Life- Kanye West ft. T- Pain

6. Like Money- Three 6 Mafia

7. Lose Yourself- Eminem

7. My Neck, My Back- Khia

8. Air Force One- Nelly

9. Crossroads- Bone Thugs n Harmony

10. In the Club- 50 Cent

11. Fuck the Police- NWA

12. Gin and Juice- Snoop Dogg

13. Dilemma- Nelly

14. Changes- 2 pac

15. Superman- Eminem

15. Gangsters Paradise- Coolio

16. Still Fly- Big Tymers

17. Ruff Ryders Anthem- DMX

18. Wanksta- 50 Cent

19. Cleaning Out My Closet- Eminem

19. Always On Time- Wu tang Clan

20. Roll Out- Ludacris

21. How We Roll- Willie Joe

22. Dress Code- Cocked- N- Locked

23. Regulate- Warren G and Nate Dogg

24. Hit em Up- Tupac Shakur

25. Bottle Popping- Yung Joc

The plan was flawless. Even though Sierra has more of a classic, black girl build- thicker around the ass; men still get us mixed up. So, I asked Sierra to pretend that she was Mika- wearing her hair straight like I’d done my hair the last time I sat with Burt.

Burt always requests that the lady from his previous week introduce him to the new girl. He tips his old lady for walking the new girl over to him.

8 pm was the witching hour. Sierra kept reminding me that I was going to owe her one. The thought of being in her debt didn’t bother me. Maybe I could pay her off with a sweet kiss. The kind that girls know drive men crazy.

Our upcoming performance gave me an excuse to stroke and fuss with her hair and do her make up the way that I want her to wear her eyes all the time.

My soft mascara separated and stretched out her already full lashes and the copper tones made her lids appear to be slanted in the same direction as her nipples. I thought to myself what a shame that she couldn’t strut a nude stage to show off my artistry.

Burt showed up at 8:30pm. Sierra batted her eyes and went up to him first. It was lovely to watch her toss her head and run her fingers through her hair- impersonating all my bimbo, body language. I made a mental note to correct her in the gesture of raking her fingers from underneath of her hair- I always untangle my hair the top.

She introduced me as Michelle.

I acted like it was my first day on the job with my clothes off.

Burt: So how do you like it here, Michelle?

Michelle: It is cold.

Burt: Let’s go for a dance, maybe you will warm up.

Michelle: a dance? I thought you only like to talk.

Burt: well you look so cold, I figured that you would look better with sweat running down your chest. Let’s stop by the juke box and play some music. He handed over a twenty.

My cheat sheet really came in handy. Most of the current top rap hip hop songs were available. I didn’t have to dance to Eminem. I know he’s just an artist trying to make money but I really think his lyrics are driving men to treat women like garbage.

Now I’m thinking I should get a download cheat sheet prepared for each music genre. Instead of girls thinking that I am not on top of the music thing- I’ll always know what is jumping off before anyone else.

HOME STUDY makes you stand out in the CLUB Ladies

Back to Burt.

After my 1 !/2 of dancing and not hearing one Prince Song Burt said: Thanks Mika, You were so much fun.

Michelle: What do you mean? MIKA?

Burt: ahh, I knew that it was you all the time- it seemed as thought you went to so much trouble to keep my interest. I wondered how detailed you would get to convince me that you were someone else.

I wish that my wife would play around like that every once in a while.

Mika: Sometimes it is difficult to forget a day when you live with someone and just be playful.

Burt: My wife just let herself go. She’s fat and grumpy. The only way I would be convinced that she was someone else- is if she was nice to me.

Mika: That’s brutal.

Burt: This one friend said that I should try taking her out to a fancy hotel and send her to a spa. What a waste of money. She wasn’t happy. It is always the same thing with her, the same type of clothes, the same music and the same complaints. She hates rap! She doesn’t even know any rap songs. She doesn’t try to keep up with the world. She’s been old since the day after we got married.

It’s like she wanted somebody to count on in terms of security but doesn’t really love me. I doubt if she ever loved me.

Mika: maybe you do her wrong, maybe you hurt her.

Burt: my cock’s not big enough to hurt anybody

Mika: maybe that’s the problem!

Burt: you are wonderful and so honest.

Mika: I wasn’t so honest when I said my name was Michelle.

Burt: Come on tell me what’s wrong with me, I think you I can trust you.

Mika: I don’t think that there’s enough time for that.

Burt: let’s sit down and really talk…

Mika: cool with me, I don’t have nothing to loose by telling your problems- as I see it I’m ahead- you were only going to sit with me once

Burt: that was before you agreed to tell me why my wife goes about everything so blahhhhh.

Mika: that’s easy, her life doesn’t revolve around change. It is typical. Whatever a person is trained to do- that is what they do.

Does she need to change for any good reason? Did you tell her when your taste in music changed?

Burt: No.

Mika: so, you started venturing out musically and you just play Sinatra at home?

Burt: sort of.

Mika: well that’s what happened, you both changed and tried to convince the other one that you hadn’t out of fear of not being liked for who you were becoming.

Burt: I see your point, and that didn’t take long.

Guess I’ll see you in a couple of weeks. Lose the wig and line up a new playlist

Jazz would be a nice change, write it down… make me a copy, if you don’t mind.

Before, I decided to become an engineer- I fantasized about being a music major. I never had enough nerve. My parents would have been heartbroken if I’d said that I was going to be a musician.

Mika: See ya next time Burt- try not to live in the past. It’s never to late. Your homework is to see that movie Wild Hogs with John Travolta.

Burt: I’m a coo coo.



Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )


Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: