Twitter’s Foulbastard #1

13 12 2007


My Dearest Cadettes,

Hope this letter from Twitterverse finds you all doing very well. I am enjoying my sabbatical. It is refreshing to meet new tech geeks and social networking avatars.

Mystery Mika has been following the lyrical cartwheels of Foulbastard on Twitter who is trademarked- which makes us all feel as though we are getting a quality product.

Perhaps Foulbitch is still available.

Recently Foulbastard conducted a Twitterverse Poll: Do you like porn and if so what type?

I have no idea of the exact number of twitters that responded- Foulbastard gets around.

However I sniffed the doghouse this afternoon for the highlights.

According to Twitter’s Foulbastard ‘girl on girl‘ and ‘dirty as hell‘ porn won out.


Given the amount of traffic on my Mika’s Girlfriend post, Mystery Mika is not surprised.

Even in terms of erotic dancing, I’ve noticed that men like it when two girls pair up. It is a turn on for men to watch ladies who like each other A Lot in action.

Part of the turn on, I believe is that the man believes that if he watches carefully he might become a better lover to a woman. In other words women know what women like. A man that can add that knowledge may get more bed action.

Most men are always trying to find ways to get more sex out of their partners.

Dirty as Hell is the winner from the other side of the tracks and is shear fantasy. Dirty as hell means fuck anywhere, any hole at any time.

Men are very accustomed to hearing excuses: baby not tonight, not while the children are in the house, I’m tired, I’m sore etc.

Men need to control themselves in public places and on the job. I believe that watching dirty as hell porn is an escape and men burn off that sexual steam while doing so.

The only thing that could come close to such a release would be to do some extreme cardiovascular workout. But who in the Hell wants to do that?

Mystery Mika’s response to Foulbastard quiz sent some of my followers to the door- but as far as I’m concerned let the door hit em where the Good Lord split ’em. I honestly think that Soap Operas a women version of Porn.

Even though women are forced to be more practical we also long for escape. In most cases our fantasies surround being freed from our position in society or our household financial situation. In the soaps women have control and have net worth based on their beauty, charm or ability to scheme. If it was that easy to get our bills paid we would all be smiling from ear to ear.

Speaking of ears, Foulbastard told me that it was just plain ridiculous of me to even think of a man that listens. That’s why watching soaps goes so well with masturbation- but then that will have to wait for my next letter.

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One response

13 12 2007
Foul Bastard

Dirty as hell seemed to have a universal appeal and while female followers were probably more likely to withhold this information publicly, the DMs I received proved that the female of the species is more dirtier than the male. 😉

As further proof that filth rocks I confess that before I read your post I fixated on the drawing of that sweet little morsel being molested by some sort of alien being. Maybe I’m weird, but I think that’s kinda hot.

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