That Foul Bastard strikes again!

3 03 2008

No one can get a Lady to take off her shirt as fast as Twitter’s Foulbastard. Who is this kid that says he is located where ever he wakes up?

When Foulbastard directly messaged me to participate in the first ever breasts of Twitter collage   I immediately directed him to my biography page to decide if my circa 1990 profile photo with erect nipples was what he was looking for. 

Social networking in itself is a mystery. What is this new tool of communication and how do we make it work for us? What do Twitters consider Work? How does Play factor in? What does social networking do for artists?

For one artists don’t need to hope and pray for a gallery to become interested in their work for exposure and feedback. Due to the Internet- it’s is anybody’s Gain Game.  

Well that depends on who ‘us’ is. Which category do you fall into? Are you someone stuck at home because you work from home? Perhaps you are ill and just want to keep your mind off of your next doctors’ visit.

No telling, whose who in the Twitter Breast Collage because Foulbastard trimmed off the faces.

If you are a twitter, you could be a tech geek looking for a group to test new software? Do you work for an ad agency- are you attempting to build revenue by directing readers to advertisements. Widget Masters want to know.

Whoever you are and what ever you do- Foulbastard ask you totake off your shirt and we happily did it. Now we are all celebrities!

Recently Snoop Dogg’s people created a Twitter account.

I don’t expect it to do very well because Snoop Dogg doesn’t follow anyone. The web link is to a boring fan site.

Twitters (me) that are into celebrities (foulbastard) want the inside scoop on being a celebrity not paparazzi. 

If we aren’t just looking for information from like minded people we are reaching for Cyber Stardom ourselves. Twitters have something to say. We aim for the tools to express ourselves. Some of us would like to generate income- but generating money is not what keeps us checking for updates from the toilet or in the mist of traffic.  

 Snoop Dogg doesn’t offer anything. Sorry Dogg, the site is so flat it doesn’t even offer an escape. 

Personally I only want to swap/trade Snoop Dogg next guest appearance on David Letterman for one of my signed Mika’s Crack Mugs. This seems highly unlikely since Snoop Dogg hasn’t even allowed for Direct Messages. 

There are many sites that revolve around only sex. Even though I can sometimes post mature subject matter or vocabulary- I can’t stand to see images of cocks and balls splashed in my face.

To me being sexy requirres class.

I have my standards. Foulbastard’s Twitter participates did a lovely breast job of being sensual. Breast are alluring and non-confrontational.

Foulbastard probably had his mind in the gutter when he conceived of the Twitter breast collage but his good heart overtook his other anatomy. The collage is so well done it could easily become a poster for Breast Health Awareness.

If I could pour Foulbastard in a mug- he would be just right. I want to see more collages. The frame is adorable and there seemed to be care taken in the placement of the images. This sort of balance is easier said than done.

Social networks like MySpace seems to attract the younger age group (teens and early 20’s) I’m dragging on myspace.

Twitter is nothing like that. Twitter is for the layered Pioneer Professional. In order to do well on Twitter and achieve a fair amount of followers you must have 3 or more of these traits: clever, inspirational, informative, tech advise, responsive, and above all you must make time to talk to a few of your followers. 

Foulbastard got his Boobie Beauty done by being all of the above and much more.

In conclusion mystery Mika gives Snoop Dogg and thumbs DOWN!

Twitter’s very own, man from the under ground, FoulBastard comes up with a fat thumbs up. Keep up the good work you smelly clown. kisses!

p.s. the views and opinion expressed here in this commentary are only that of Mystery Mika- no Twitters have been polled

Play Dough

26 01 2008

Hiya Cadettes

This is just a quick note before I get back into the Porno Cookie Kitchen

Now I am realizing that this post should be posted at

Or maybe that is where the pictures will be when it is all said and done.

Anyway, the Porno Cookies went over very well on Mannheim Road.

Everyone noticed me and my Goodie Tray (I wore the Naughty Nurse outfit with the red cross that spreads across my boobs).

All I needed to say was something suggestive to get the laughter going.

Today I am rolling my buttery cookie tits and cocks in choco powder.

Many people want to see a black ass with white cocks. I’m trying to make a name for myself so I’d better give exactly what they ask for!

I plan on taking more time this morning shaping the sexy edible sculptures, hopefully this time my landlord won’t be peeking over my shoulder.

I would like to keep the shapes simple so that Men subconsciously think of Picasso

As a matter of fact, I think I’ll look through one of Picasso’ books right now before baking.

I’ll keep you posted.

Light’s Out on Twitter

15 12 2007


Already I’ve gotten some work done. As much as I scream about making money- I’d forgotten all about my Shop. Go check out my new pillow, mouse pad and mug!

I’ve heard that ass sells. Would you like a piece of mine?

Pretending to be Paid

12 11 2007

Strippers do it all the time… Lie about how much money they make

Well I decided to strike for a while on my blog as if I belong to the writer’s guild

As if I have a contract and .4 cents to argue over…

I’ll spend the Writer’s Strike as a vacation, cooking, clearing my desk

A little time to muse over my life and the direction of my work

Writing/ blogging doesn’t include so look for me there

enjoy my 140 characters of endless blurps about the mundane steps of getting by as a Mother and under paid writer.

Wonder what I am thinking or can’t live without my jaded suggestions? Call me on my 900.787.6642!

Writers Block Erica Kane

5 11 2007

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Over the years she has managed to come up smelling like a rose but what will happen next with the dawn of the Hollywood Writers Strike? Isn’t it about time the Bitch just rolled over and died!

I can’t speak for every seriously thirsty wanna be writer out there hoping for a break. It would be a tooth clinching fanny wag if the writers strike worked in my favor

Like some important people getting very antsy- needing new content so badly that they called my 900 number daily begging me for a few lines to float the Soap.

Finally my big fat check!

This morning Mystery Mika took to the street… interviewing a few Wicker Park artists/ writers about crossing the picket line:

Joe: bah hum bubba hollywoody

Sara: No, I wouldn’t cross- I already have too many flat irons on my poky

Dave: No but I don’t have kids. I wouldn’t blame you if you did though

Bloom: Yeah and I give all of the mega soap opera babes diseases- when the dust is cleared the regular writers would return and bring everybody back to life- it would be so awesome!

Frank: no let them sweat- do you know how many scripts I’ve sent in! 100’s… you know how many of my story lines have ended up on T.V? 100’s! Do you know how much money I’ve made? Zilch! Nada! ITTLCH… Thieves! Close down television for alll I care.

Barb: There’s a writers strike? I thought they were putting all the writers in jail and out sourcing the lawyers from Pakistan.

Well there you have it folks my completely made up story. Completely made up interviews… twisted but hardly evil enough to land me a job. The thong is still pasted to my ass and I will never apologize for taking care of my children.

Green is the Answer.


Intro to Music with Tommy Klein #2

25 10 2007

It is late morning and I am sipping on Green Jade tea and listening to Tommy Klein practice Waltz in G by Ferdinand Carulli. It is interesting to catch up with the old schoolers to see what and how they keep up with the flow in these ever changing times.

Keep in mind that Tommy is so occupied with his acoustic guitar that he doesn’t even know that I am interviewing him. We are just chatting. Later I say thanks for the interview!

His guitar is a nylon string, student model, Gracia guitar that he says isn’t really expensive but it has a sticker on the inside that tells where all the wood came from and that it was made in 1970.

Mika: How long have you been practicing today?

Tommy K: This morning, I got up and started around 4:30am because I couldn’t sleep.

We started out talking about Harry Belafonte, Miriam Makeba and Bobby Darin. My friend Dan had been playing Belafonte yesterday at Bite Cafe on his Ipod – my 10 month old, daughter loved it. Suddenly I want to know more about Harry Belafonte. I am asking every musician that I know about Harry.

Tommy K : Harry Belafonte is an activist- back in his day he was King of Calypso. It makes sense that a toddler would find his music ‘bouncable‘. Calypso is enjoyable because it is dynamic with surprising sounds.

Mika: I see a spectrum of color while listening to Harry

Tommy K: My mentor and teacher, Jack Cecchini played as part of the band for Harry Belafonte and Miriam Makeba. Jack played with Bobby Darin too. Bobby Darin supported and marched with Martin Luther King. You can say that those performers were pioneers when it came down to entertainers joining movements and demanding civil rights.

One night in the early 90’s, when I was still operating the Vic Theatre… Miriam Makeba and her band were playing… I went outside to have a look around and there was Jack Cecchini standing in line! I got him out of line, brought him inside and put him in a box.

I didn’t know he was coming because I hadn’t talked to him in a long time. Jack hadn’t talked to Miriam in a long time. Everyone had a blast.

You should try to interview Jack. I bet he has some show business stories for you. Back in their day, those musicians were cutting edge. Jack played with all of them and he always slept with the band and didn’t go along with the black/white this and that separation nonsense!

Mika: How did you meet Jack Ceccini?

Tommy K: When I was 17 years old, I had a music teacher on the south side of Chicago who I’d been taking lessons from- one day he took me aside and said- look Kid, I’ve taken you as far as I can take you. It is time you seek another Teacher. He recommended Jack Ceccini who had a little store that was managed by his wife, Eve.

Tommy K: I wanted to learn from the best, so I called the store and booked a lesson. The rest is history!

Mika: Why do you practice classical music if you are considered a Jazz musician?

Tommy K: Classical has good format and good technique it can be applied to modern jazz and rock. You want to have good technique even when you play electric guitar!

Mika: I have absolutely no idea of what good technique consists of but I love Along the Watch Tower by Jimi Hendrix.

Tommy K: All Along the Watchtower? That’s a Bob Dylan tune. Jimi Hendrix liked Bob Dylan a lot.

Mika: That surprises me. They seem so different- but then I know squat about music.

Tommy Klein gets up from the music stands and walks over to his Mac. I think he was trying to find Bob Dylan doing All Along the Watchtower but comes up with Dylan doing Like a Rolling Stone instead.

Tommy K: Jimi Hendrix did like a Rolling Stone too.

Mika: I think of Bob Dylan as a poet. I must admit that all these years of dancing-  I’ve only recently  started paying attention to who wrote the music that I dance to. DJ have been handling all that stuff. I’m too cheap to put money in the juke box- I just say play some Rock or R and B.

Tommy K: Bob Dylan is a  poet- he was saying something important to that generation when he wrote those songs… listen to the lyrics. Dylan has mass appeal.

Mika: What are you listening to lately?

Tommy K: Right now, I’m on this Opera’s Greatest Tenors kick. I made friends with this guy down the street- so happens he’s a accomplished, local, opera singer. He played me one of his recordings and he sounds just like Pavarotti- but then I don’t know much about opera. Anyway, we started this book exchange. I’m studying the history of opera and the greatest tenors. It’s cool. The funny thing is that I never like that kind of music before.

Mika: Why do you think that you were like that then and what caught your ear recently?

Tommy K: Well it is so organic. My neighbor has a collection of recordings and a Victrola. When he cranked up the album it was all scratchy and stuff but it sounded so ripe. I was taken aback. Back in those days the musicians had to get it right without sound studio technology.

Mika: Maybe you ran out of other styles and Opera is your last frontier.

Tommy K: Neeeh. As you get older, you get more open minded… Opera wasn’t my style… it’s an acquired taste- Guess now I am old enough to appreciate it.

Getting in Bed with a Twitter

23 10 2007

Mysterymika101 is trying to spread the love even thinner these days. Early this week I set up a account. So far I am having a blast describing what I am doing in 140 characters or less.

85 twits got my attention with their avatars or comic updates. My favorite is the RedCross. What’s a naught nurse without a Red Cross over head?

The goal is to build up my hits and see if there are others out there like me. I rather attract people who like the sort of entertainment that I provide than embellishing or doing the bait and switch- that’s what got me in trouble… ahh those naughty titles!

We will see.