The History of Pantyhose

27 06 2008

Sexy American tap dancer, Singer, Actress and Showgirl Ann Miller (God Bless her Heart April 12,1923 – January 22, 2004) invented the Pantyhose in the 1940’s as a solution to continual torn stockings during filming of dance production numbers. Before Ann’s Pantyhose idea the common practice was to sew hosiery to briefs worn by the Entertainer. At Ann Miller’s request, her hosiery was manufactured for her as a single piece!

Look at this legend go! Mystery Mika wants one of those classy black costumes. The feathered sides make her look so elegant. The black hosiery is a magnificent accent.

Here we have another Ann Miller performance. It is difficult to tell but it looks as though she has sewn black appliques to the hips of her hosiery. I may be able to whip up a Mystery Mika version of this costume.

Now enjoy Ann’s yellow bottom shaking the blues away! Love it baby. This is show biz all dressed up in beautiful expressive Pantyhose. All Hail the Inventor!

Are you in love with Ann Miller yet? If you have a Pantyhose fetish then watching the Showgirl who put the panty and the hose together is too damn hot!

Kisses Cadettes! Yet another Mystery unfolds. This Pantyhose summer of 2008 will be amazing as we push and run with the Pantyhose.





Starting Valentine Count down

12 02 2008




Naughty Nurse

27 12 2007

nursemika.jpg

Looking for a virtual naughty nurse on call tonight? Nurse Mika will be checking pulses starting just past midnight.

900.787.6642

My rates have been adjusted to $20 per call. Calls last about 10 minutes. You must be 18 years old to call.

Ask me anything and tell me exactly where it hurts and what naughty thing you did to yourself to get such blue balls.

Catch my Dicklybooblesque blurps on http://www.boobik.com





Why Housewives Go blahhhh in Blue Light Hotels

30 09 2007

Dumbfounded on a bar stool in a dim corner sat Burt. He loves olives, rap music and pretty girls. Burt is 55 and boasts about how much he hates being white and middle age. He comes to the strip bar and leaves alone every other Tuesday night. He will only to talk to the new dancer of the week. Burt is generous as long as you keep his olive glass full of spicy hot foreplay talk.

Burt’s broad chest was like a boey dancing on and obeying invisible waves. Without a capital S underneath the plaid shirt, the tiny squares might as well have been painted on. His pale jaw was out of place lip syncing the words…

S P.. SUPER MANN SUP!

They call me SUPERMAN I know what you wanna hear I’m here to save you Girl COME be in Shady’s World I wanna grow with you

The Bar was his hero’s telephone booth. Once inside he could pull the strings and sound the alarm. The fire pole was going to be climbed to mesmerize him. He loved it. He cleared his schedule for his Tuesday night out and brought many crisp singles.

After the first time I got a nice tip from, I asked other ladies that had sat with him what was his deal. They quickly informed me that he only like the ‘new girls’.

You only get lucky with that one once, Mika. One vet giggled.

If I were going to get another round in, I would need to have help and to plan every detail carefully. Everyone involved would need to be tipped for their time and effort. I decided that I would sit with him again. The big question was exactly how new did one need to be.

Was his sense of freshness measured by hair color, accent, race, height, weight, scent, breast size, rump roast or ability to stay optimistic? It was Any-body’s guess because no one could remember being invited to sit with him more than once.

I made up my mind to get another round. It is not that he was so charming that I went to bed reminiscing about his dashing presence- no, I was just curious. I love playing dress up and putting on a the Ritz. Making money just doing that right is a blast. It is basically what Showgirls want from every exchange.

I’m so cute- adore me, tip me big Spender
An hour next door to his mind promised a certain insight to a man’s desires.

Your entertainment brings me the most joy- tip me

He was non-confrontational and easy to talk to even though he bobbed his head to some hardcore rap. In between mouthing the raw lyrics, he did ask personal stuff like, what side of town I was from, where I’d danced before, what turned me on, if I had any pets, what my favorite food was etc. It didn’t bother me. The chore of making up and learning a new script for another session didn’t bother me either.

I’m your Genie- try to Pop my cork

It’s no secret, I get wet when I see the almighty dollar. Twenties are even better.

He also contributed $20 to the music but wanted me to pick the songs. (This was the hardest angle to figure out. $20 is a lot of songs even if you pick ones that have never been downloaded)

Finally some one rescued me by yelling: Mika stand away from the jute box!

Spend a little more time with me

The following Tuesday, my show bag was packed for a good time, I wore a curly wig and a different shade of lipstick and higher shoe. I wrote down 20 songs and stuck the cheat sheet into my stocking. My goal was to have a different routine than the previous week. Everyone adjusts their gait in higher shoes. I was banking on all black girls looking alike to him.

According to my research the top hip hop rap songs and Artists for October 2007 are as follows- This took a while because I really can’t stand Eminem so I ignored all of his songs on the DJ charts. I lined up the following songs to play for Burt’s visit. This was really new for me:

1. Kiss Kiss – Chris Brown featuring T- Pain

2. We On- GemStones (a.k.a Gemini) ft. Lupe Fiasco and Pooh Bear

3. Hypnotized – Plies ft. Akon

4.When I Roll Up- Attitude

5. Good Life- Kanye West ft. T- Pain

6. Like Money- Three 6 Mafia

7. Lose Yourself- Eminem

7. My Neck, My Back- Khia

8. Air Force One- Nelly

9. Crossroads- Bone Thugs n Harmony

10. In the Club- 50 Cent

11. Fuck the Police- NWA

12. Gin and Juice- Snoop Dogg

13. Dilemma- Nelly

14. Changes- 2 pac

15. Superman- Eminem

15. Gangsters Paradise- Coolio

16. Still Fly- Big Tymers

17. Ruff Ryders Anthem- DMX

18. Wanksta- 50 Cent

19. Cleaning Out My Closet- Eminem

19. Always On Time- Wu tang Clan

20. Roll Out- Ludacris

21. How We Roll- Willie Joe

22. Dress Code- Cocked- N- Locked

23. Regulate- Warren G and Nate Dogg

24. Hit em Up- Tupac Shakur

25. Bottle Popping- Yung Joc

The plan was flawless. Even though Sierra has more of a classic, black girl build- thicker around the ass; men still get us mixed up. So, I asked Sierra to pretend that she was Mika- wearing her hair straight like I’d done my hair the last time I sat with Burt.

Burt always requests that the lady from his previous week introduce him to the new girl. He tips his old lady for walking the new girl over to him.

8 pm was the witching hour. Sierra kept reminding me that I was going to owe her one. The thought of being in her debt didn’t bother me. Maybe I could pay her off with a sweet kiss. The kind that girls know drive men crazy.

Our upcoming performance gave me an excuse to stroke and fuss with her hair and do her make up the way that I want her to wear her eyes all the time.

My soft mascara separated and stretched out her already full lashes and the copper tones made her lids appear to be slanted in the same direction as her nipples. I thought to myself what a shame that she couldn’t strut a nude stage to show off my artistry.

Burt showed up at 8:30pm. Sierra batted her eyes and went up to him first. It was lovely to watch her toss her head and run her fingers through her hair- impersonating all my bimbo, body language. I made a mental note to correct her in the gesture of raking her fingers from underneath of her hair- I always untangle my hair the top.

She introduced me as Michelle.

I acted like it was my first day on the job with my clothes off.

Burt: So how do you like it here, Michelle?

Michelle: It is cold.

Burt: Let’s go for a dance, maybe you will warm up.

Michelle: a dance? I thought you only like to talk.

Burt: well you look so cold, I figured that you would look better with sweat running down your chest. Let’s stop by the juke box and play some music. He handed over a twenty.

My cheat sheet really came in handy. Most of the current top rap hip hop songs were available. I didn’t have to dance to Eminem. I know he’s just an artist trying to make money but I really think his lyrics are driving men to treat women like garbage.

Now I’m thinking I should get a download cheat sheet prepared for each music genre. Instead of girls thinking that I am not on top of the music thing- I’ll always know what is jumping off before anyone else.

HOME STUDY makes you stand out in the CLUB Ladies

Back to Burt.

After my 1 !/2 of dancing and not hearing one Prince Song Burt said: Thanks Mika, You were so much fun.

Michelle: What do you mean? MIKA?

Burt: ahh, I knew that it was you all the time- it seemed as thought you went to so much trouble to keep my interest. I wondered how detailed you would get to convince me that you were someone else.

I wish that my wife would play around like that every once in a while.

Mika: Sometimes it is difficult to forget a day when you live with someone and just be playful.

Burt: My wife just let herself go. She’s fat and grumpy. The only way I would be convinced that she was someone else- is if she was nice to me.

Mika: That’s brutal.

Burt: This one friend said that I should try taking her out to a fancy hotel and send her to a spa. What a waste of money. She wasn’t happy. It is always the same thing with her, the same type of clothes, the same music and the same complaints. She hates rap! She doesn’t even know any rap songs. She doesn’t try to keep up with the world. She’s been old since the day after we got married.

It’s like she wanted somebody to count on in terms of security but doesn’t really love me. I doubt if she ever loved me.

Mika: maybe you do her wrong, maybe you hurt her.

Burt: my cock’s not big enough to hurt anybody

Mika: maybe that’s the problem!

Burt: you are wonderful and so honest.

Mika: I wasn’t so honest when I said my name was Michelle.

Burt: Come on tell me what’s wrong with me, I think you I can trust you.

Mika: I don’t think that there’s enough time for that.

Burt: let’s sit down and really talk…

Mika: cool with me, I don’t have nothing to loose by telling your problems- as I see it I’m ahead- you were only going to sit with me once

Burt: that was before you agreed to tell me why my wife goes about everything so blahhhhh.

Mika: that’s easy, her life doesn’t revolve around change. It is typical. Whatever a person is trained to do- that is what they do.

Does she need to change for any good reason? Did you tell her when your taste in music changed?

Burt: No.

Mika: so, you started venturing out musically and you just play Sinatra at home?

Burt: sort of.

Mika: well that’s what happened, you both changed and tried to convince the other one that you hadn’t out of fear of not being liked for who you were becoming.

Burt: I see your point, and that didn’t take long.

Guess I’ll see you in a couple of weeks. Lose the wig and line up a new playlist

Jazz would be a nice change, write it down… make me a copy, if you don’t mind.

Before, I decided to become an engineer- I fantasized about being a music major. I never had enough nerve. My parents would have been heartbroken if I’d said that I was going to be a musician.

Mika: See ya next time Burt- try not to live in the past. It’s never to late. Your homework is to see that movie Wild Hogs with John Travolta.

Burt: I’m a coo coo.





HOOD Memo- the Day After

24 09 2007

Yeah I’m still here. No, this Blog is not turning into some ‘mommyblog’ like Diablo Cody’s Pussy Ranch blog. For one thing I’m not famous yet. For another Domestic Violence is a Showgirl Issue too. I urge all Showgirls to pick a fight and jump in. Involve yourselves in some form of community outreach that helps battered women.

Domestic Violence seeps into all communities not just Chicago’s west side. There are women on the Gold Coast getting their asses beat too.

Consensual Role Play is not the same as Domestic Violence and should not be confused with the Sexy Games that grown people play.

People who don’t know anything about leather, vinyl, latex, water sports, corporal punishment, bondage, role reversal, fetishes and body worship may quickly jump to conclusions.

S and M Lifestyle are exploring their issues within the boundaries of their themes where as Domestic Abusers are lashing out without control or regard for the other person’s wishes or safety. We have completely different experiences.

It is my responsibility to talk about Domestic Violence and a draw a harsh line between the two because we don’t need anyone getting the wrong idea.

The age of consent for having sex in Illinois is 17.

Mystery Mika’s quote of the Day: Sex is a multi- layered way of engaging with another person. When it goes right, you have blissful happiness when it goes wrong it can get terribly painful and violent.

I don’t know what these High Schools call themselves teaching in regards to Sex Education but from what I see in the streets it is not working. The lessons are not helping young people have healthy relationships.

This concerns all of us because the violence spills out onto the street where folks with good sense are attempting to go about their lives.

Margaret Mead Quote of the Day: Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world; indeed, it is the only thing that ever has.

So Now we have a Mika’s Showgirl lesson to spread because my Cadettes are taught to address the Big picture.

Feel free to adopt my letter to an Abusive Brother (Sunday’s post) make it your own by adding your special quote of the day that maintains the spirit and tone of the letter.

Make 100 copies Showgirls and hand them out a Churches, High Schools and Street Corners where guys hang out.

My Sunday morning of passing the letter out was transformational. My children and I went to 30 different churches to leave our message. I had no idea on what was going to happen. I figured that the Church Mothers would be most responsive to my son’s voice. So I sent him in dressed in a button down collared shirt and a single letter printed on white paper.

The over half of the ushers came outside to see where the boy had come from.

I wore a black and white, lace print, J. Crew, below the knee dress with a collar of pearls tight at my neck. Nuri at the Salon just gave me a fresh perm on Friday so my hair very neat and bone straight.

This look really didn’t match the white puma’s and white socks on my feet but I needed comfort to hop in and out of the car. Besides I only got out to hand the letter to men and boys hanging out on the street corners.

When I got out of my car, I smiled and asked: Who’s the Boss?

The guys were shocked.

Nobody ever wanted to claim being the boss. So I would ‘once over’ the crowd again to see what person was attempting the hardest to look like he had no control over the guys.

Sometimes, as I stood, it was like a face off- for the Boss to step forward. In one instance a guy stepped up to me- Big as hell! His facial hair was very well groomed like he had just got out of the barber’s chair. He said: let me see what you got here… and took my simple letter.

I was amazed as to how many men read the letter.

One man standing in front of a church said- you got heart.

So Cadettes this is Mystery Mika’s Stand up against Domestic Violence Week.

Today I am going to High Schools, street corners and barber shops.

I am printing 40 letters today. It took 2hours yesterday to pass out 30.

Have at it Ladies.





Shooting Blanks

19 09 2007

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Times are tight, for some getting a Vasectomy is right

Announce to that special lover that you have taken care of business by sporting a Naughty Nurse tell all t- shirt.

Enjoy the freedom to choose the best way to make a settle hint.

I now have this adult humor, cozy Vasectomy T shirt and mug available at my http://www.cafepress.com/mysterymika101 online shop.
Be the thoughtful gift of Love with a chuckle!





Before She Was Famous

17 09 2007

Everyone wants to represent like a Stripper these days. This time it is Nicole Kidman in a cheap catalog looking bra on the cover of the October 2007,Vanity Fair. What was she thinking?

The picture is all over the supermarket check out line- looking a hot mess.

I’ve seen plenty of saucy photographs of Kidman. I know she has more to offer than that doe caught in the headlights stare.

Wait a minute, if Nikki was going after the next top model with that pic, she would be quickly overshadowed by girls who want to be seen. Tyra would get a crook from snapping her neck: NO, come stronger or Go home!

Some people should just glue their clothes on. Stripping ain’t for everybody!

Girls hoping for a big break and money to free themselves would send that sort of competition packing. What is show business coming to?

Wait, I’m not finished.

Furthermore,If Nikki was at the strip club as blank, innocent and lost as on the cover of Vanity Fair, she would become instant ‘new girl prey’.

Every bad guy in the joint would have an attitude of superiority toward her or a moralized cocktail for her to suck on. Weakness attracts the bad guy.

Pity. Pity on You Nicole Kidman for taking a step backward. You look as if this picture was taken before you were famous.

Half naked and lost looking broads are an insult to real erotic entertainers who have a reason to strip.

Strip to have fun. Strip to make money. Strip to have extra time to work on your art. Strip because you are a bad ass. Strip to pay for a home health care nurse to keep your grannie out of the nursing home. Strip to buy organic food… but don’t strip because you are famous and can’t think of anything else to do.

I’m not finished.

I haven’t ranted about the costume. It could have been cute if her eyes didn’t go dead the minute the anchor pooped off…

earl-moran-nautical-sailor-girllarge-jpg.jpg

It is war time. Soldiers are putting themselves in harms way everyday. If you are going to don a military uniform- Shout it out! Come heavy. Give them something to pin up! Looks to me like she was dummied up and pushed into the Sailor Gimmick without much research.

Nikkie didn’t seem to understand exactly why she was in a Sailor Suit. If Putting it on didn’t mean anything then taking it off is going to mean less. It is all over her face.

Mystery Mika Showgirl Hint: Understand the costume, time period of the design that you are modeling. Audiences are going to attach the current events to the image that you present. Duh.

She doesn’t look like she having any FUN! She wasn’t sending any love out to our boys at war in the sea.

So I’m left thinking she didn’t really want to do it.

Why do this celebrities keep letting their people convince them that Stripping is the new IN thing?

We strippers are trying to make the most of what we get to start out with, which in most cases, ain’t much.

Give me a damn sailor suit, I’d sock it with nothing less than a fabulous bra.