Girl Fight!

18 02 2008

In the past when the kid gloves came off there was nothing left but nylons and garter belts.

Betty Page captured the hearts of many in her signature black sheer pantie hose, patent leather pumps, stylish bangs. Her milk white skin was a unforgettable contrast to the way she glammed up for the camera.

Here’s a rare television interview with Betty Page. (Mystery Mika loves you, youtube.)

Betty Page wore black and never made it easy for her co stars to hog tie her.

Here’s Betty Page putting up a fight.

Should women really be pulling each others hair to entertain men?

Girl Fight!

It pretty much comes down to compensation.

If you are treated well and get paid well then it is okay.

If you are forced to do things that you don’t want to do and don’t get paid then it feels very bad.

In any business there are people trying constantly to get the upper hand.

Most people consider themselves smart when they see a profit.

Got Stripper Boobs?

2 01 2008

Are your boobs 5 inches thick? Do you think men would pay to see them jiggle? Can you come up with a cool Stripper Name? Can you carry on a fun erotic conversation?

Do you have any pictures?

Can you tell an exciting story about your hottest sexual experience? Do you have more than one great story?

Got pictures?

Are you artistic? Do you choose interesting poses? can you handle dirty old men? Do you know your limit?

Do you want to practice without going to a club?

Mystery Mika invites you to join her on

Where she is playing the role of NurseMika… a naughty can can pinup.

Let’s see what you dolls got!

Guys are invited to watch.

Disclaimer: Nurse Mika is not responsible what other people think being sexy is all about- enter the site at your own risk!

Twitter’s Foulbastard #1

13 12 2007


My Dearest Cadettes,

Hope this letter from Twitterverse finds you all doing very well. I am enjoying my sabbatical. It is refreshing to meet new tech geeks and social networking avatars.

Mystery Mika has been following the lyrical cartwheels of Foulbastard on Twitter who is trademarked- which makes us all feel as though we are getting a quality product.

Perhaps Foulbitch is still available.

Recently Foulbastard conducted a Twitterverse Poll: Do you like porn and if so what type?

I have no idea of the exact number of twitters that responded- Foulbastard gets around.

However I sniffed the doghouse this afternoon for the highlights.

According to Twitter’s Foulbastard ‘girl on girl‘ and ‘dirty as hell‘ porn won out.


Given the amount of traffic on my Mika’s Girlfriend post, Mystery Mika is not surprised.

Even in terms of erotic dancing, I’ve noticed that men like it when two girls pair up. It is a turn on for men to watch ladies who like each other A Lot in action.

Part of the turn on, I believe is that the man believes that if he watches carefully he might become a better lover to a woman. In other words women know what women like. A man that can add that knowledge may get more bed action.

Most men are always trying to find ways to get more sex out of their partners.

Dirty as Hell is the winner from the other side of the tracks and is shear fantasy. Dirty as hell means fuck anywhere, any hole at any time.

Men are very accustomed to hearing excuses: baby not tonight, not while the children are in the house, I’m tired, I’m sore etc.

Men need to control themselves in public places and on the job. I believe that watching dirty as hell porn is an escape and men burn off that sexual steam while doing so.

The only thing that could come close to such a release would be to do some extreme cardiovascular workout. But who in the Hell wants to do that?

Mystery Mika’s response to Foulbastard quiz sent some of my followers to the door- but as far as I’m concerned let the door hit em where the Good Lord split ’em. I honestly think that Soap Operas a women version of Porn.

Even though women are forced to be more practical we also long for escape. In most cases our fantasies surround being freed from our position in society or our household financial situation. In the soaps women have control and have net worth based on their beauty, charm or ability to scheme. If it was that easy to get our bills paid we would all be smiling from ear to ear.

Speaking of ears, Foulbastard told me that it was just plain ridiculous of me to even think of a man that listens. That’s why watching soaps goes so well with masturbation- but then that will have to wait for my next letter.

To get more inside of our heads catch the RSS on

Natural Stripper boobs

30 09 2007

Boobs are a big part of stripping- don’t let anyone tell you different. Men love big natural boobs more than anything. If you have have small natural boobs then you may get away with it if they are perky and you have the small frame to match.

I’ve been on all over the map on this one.

Men are constantly asking me if I got a boob job.

I always come up with something smart to say.

If I did get a boob job, I would want to pretend that they were natural while I was working. If my boobs weren’t real it would bum me out to have to keep telling people that they were fake and give all the stats. So tacky.

Asking a woman if her boobies are real is worse than asking her about her age. The odd thing about this behavior is that if a erotic entertainer spent 4- 6 grand on a pair of boobs to aid the customers ‘s fantasy- then why attempt to bust her out by asking how the trick works.

So I don’t feel bad for leaving them speechless when I’m asked about my boobs

Here a couple of my wise crack responses to: are those real?

1. Only if you like real hot chocolate.

2. No, they aren’t real- they are some-body’s dinner.

3. Where the shot glass- it’s two for one Mika

4. I’m a feeder, they are on loan.
5. I also have lipstick to draw a red circle around your eye. It would be fun to use you are target practice.

6. I can out squirt you any day.

7. I got gallons and it streams out of 5 different holes.

What I say, tell me what I say right now. You want to know right Now?

What’s that one more time.


8. Baby it taste so good, sweet like honey, the only thing that I got that looks completely white and creamy and goes with wonder bread toast.

9. If I shake my things, we are going to need a mop

10. damn straight, they are really working.

And No you can’t touch the nipple. Dirty Boy.

The worse thing about milky breast is that it is difficult to keep them producing at the same speed – babies always prefer one to the other which means one is going to be obviously larger as your shift progresses. After 5 hours I’m lopsided.

This is a problem if you are trying to dance nude. You look more like a side show than a main show.

Some guy tried to tell me about a gal that he knew who got implants 2 different sizes trying to look more natural. I find that hard to believe.

Some clubs, like the Admiral here in Chicago require that women cover up their nipple. Most women cover with flesh tone latex. I’m allergic to latex so I could never do that.

Beside nothing would stick once I started leaking.

Shooting Blanks

19 09 2007

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Times are tight, for some getting a Vasectomy is right

Announce to that special lover that you have taken care of business by sporting a Naughty Nurse tell all t- shirt.

Enjoy the freedom to choose the best way to make a settle hint.

I now have this adult humor, cozy Vasectomy T shirt and mug available at my online shop.
Be the thoughtful gift of Love with a chuckle!

Journaling: When Showgirls turn Blue- lesson1

15 09 2007

Nancy on the stage wearing only blood diamonds…

Showgirl Cadettes: Imagine 3 different possible endings to this scenario when your night doesn’t go as well as expected.

Set up a different type of stage for yourself. Make this stage a platform for you to spend a little time reflecting instead of watching television or drinking to drown the day’s event away.

Take a deep breath. Write it down. Write only for you. This is your Heart. This is your secret peep show memory.

Pretty paper is allowed. Your favorite pen is allowed. Colored pages can be folded and sealed with lipstick kisses to yourself. You don’t need to share it with anyone. Unless you choose to, otherwise you may keep it in an odd shaped box small enough to title your tears. You are the creator and destroyer.

Grammar doesn’t matter. Incomplete sentences are complete if they help you gain insight into your thoughts. Go back in time. Go forward at will. You don’t need to put it on the Internet. Your spirit can fly. Be honest.

Tip toe into a dark closet or sleep naked at the wheel.

This dance is strictly for you.

Mystery Mika encourages this book to help you along-

Opening Up: The Healing Power of Expressing Emotions by James Pennebaker, PhD

Have at it Cadettes!

Stay in the Kitchen #1

13 09 2007


Over heard with a rock glass of Gin…

American men like women who think about cooking and if she is actually good at it, He adores her!

How powerful is a home cooked meal?

Men who cook are handsome to me. This goes both ways. Women who understand the bond that a man has with satisfied stomach get further with less argument. Children that are trained to eat at home will eventually prefer Mom’s cooking to going out.

Food preparation takes time, research and practice. So many people discount this in our hustle and bustle society. Fast food is so much more convenient when you are exhausted from being on the go. Aside from that many ladies think that they are being glamorous by taking the kids out all the time.

Many showgirls tell me that they never cook. Spending time preparing food and eating around a table together is a great opportunity to share what is going on in each other’s lives.

How can this be accomplished? For starters going out is more expensive. Tally up exactly how much you spend on eating out in one week.

The following week spend at least half of that on groceries instead of going out.

If you have a friend who normally treats you and your children to a meal. Ask him to go to the grocery store with you instead of buying one meal for one night.

Plan your meal before going to the grocery store- grocery store shopping shouldn’t be like shopping for shoes. It should only take 2 stops at most.

Let’s keep it real. Many showgirls are spoiled and not used to going placing alone. I know the struggles. I’m spoiled too. Times are tight, in order not to drop our work standards we need to be smart about the money we manage to hustle up.

Ladies, we are Hot; we don’t feel comfortable out alone. In this case, you should invest in some full coverage sweats that don’t have plugging neck lines so you feel better out shopping alone. Sun glasses help too. If you have a house boy, it’s time to include grocery shopping with you as one of his duties.

So let’s review:

Decide on your budget. It is a nasty word. The word itself implies that the boob job that you got isn’t paying off. Wrong. Money is just tight. Get your head out of the sand. Stop wasting time checking out a new spot- hoping to find a club that doesn’t have a kazillion girls on the floor trying to make a buck. It is slow everywhere.

1.Get one on- the- down -low shopping outfit. Regular gal clothes. You are really going shopping for food not a trick

2.BUDGET. Figure out how much you are spending eating out on Food.

Compare shop at grocery stores. I prefer Whole Foods. Their steaks taste better than Gibson’s Steak House in Chicago. (If you cook it right.) The butchers are very patient. Don’t be afraid to ask questions on how to prepare what you are buying.

3.MEAL PLAN Think Salad, 2 sides, meat or Vegetable Dish with Rice and bread.

Wine, water or juice. I like sparkling water with lime. This sort of thing on top of a table cloth makes it feel like a real restaurant.

If you want left overs double up. Buy 6 potatoes for 2 people. 2 cups of vegetables per person. You will have left overs for lunch.

Starting out takes time but if you shop smart you can have a full kitchen before winter. Next time we will talk about cooking gear such as pots, blenders, coffee grinders etc.