Nina’s Hair Parlour Slide Show

21 02 2008

As a performer you can always have a Crown if you learn to do something arresting with your hair. A retro up do will always dazzle… hair pins and hair spray baby!

These styles look fabulous against brown skin too!

Men Love a Surprise. Keep them on their toes by borrowing something old.

Kisses Cadettes, it’s 3:30am- What am I doing AWAKE!





Dressing Unicorns scene 1

15 01 2008

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On Saturday morning she remembered her true love worked in a museum and that he was broke. She turned over in her bouncing, mattress bed freeing her feet from under Alfred-the mutt.

Alfred was full and exhausted from helping her raid the refrigerator at 3 am. Last night’s cheap mascara clumped her eyelids together cementing her face to the polyester pillowcase.

Struggling she reached for the telephone to call the babysitter.

HER: Hi, Sara? Good morning.

She attempted to sound pulled even there was a frog Prince stuck in her memory.

“Dramatics don’t take the place of sincerity of alertness, young Lady. The only man that enjoys an actress for a wife is too cheap to afford a Mistress.”

She shook off the scolding that her mother had drummed into her head during High School.

Sara: Morning? It’s 11:30. I expected that you would be here by now. Thought you said you’ll be here at 10am. You sound as if you are just waking up!

Her: Gosh, It’s after 11. I’m called as soon as I realized….

The babysitters’ controlled outrage dragged Her back into the present.

Sara: You know I have plans, I need to get groceries and make dinner for my husband.

Her: No problem, get the kids ready- I’ll be there right away.

Sara: the kids have been waiting and ready since 9:30am for you.

The line went dead. She pulled herself up straight with much resistance from her flesh. With the back of her hand, she whipped the drool from the cracks of her mouth. Along with the crust came the remains of Cherry Berry BlackVamp Lipstick that She wore on stage the night before.

Her: Gee Alfred, do you know where my flat boots are? I better not show up at Sara’s door looking too flashy- she’s already expecting 90 bucks for the overnight childcare.

Will She find some reasonable shoes to wear in broad daylight or will She run out of time and dress like a Hoochie Mama?

Tune in next time for the second episode of Dressing Unicorns. All Intellectual Rights reserved. This is brought to you by Chiara Young aka Mystery Mika for those of you who haven’t caught on by now. I love Soap Operas so much I decided to write my own!

Any Ideas what ‘Her’ name should be ?





Why Housewives Go blahhhh in Blue Light Hotels

30 09 2007

Dumbfounded on a bar stool in a dim corner sat Burt. He loves olives, rap music and pretty girls. Burt is 55 and boasts about how much he hates being white and middle age. He comes to the strip bar and leaves alone every other Tuesday night. He will only to talk to the new dancer of the week. Burt is generous as long as you keep his olive glass full of spicy hot foreplay talk.

Burt’s broad chest was like a boey dancing on and obeying invisible waves. Without a capital S underneath the plaid shirt, the tiny squares might as well have been painted on. His pale jaw was out of place lip syncing the words…

S P.. SUPER MANN SUP!

They call me SUPERMAN I know what you wanna hear I’m here to save you Girl COME be in Shady’s World I wanna grow with you

The Bar was his hero’s telephone booth. Once inside he could pull the strings and sound the alarm. The fire pole was going to be climbed to mesmerize him. He loved it. He cleared his schedule for his Tuesday night out and brought many crisp singles.

After the first time I got a nice tip from, I asked other ladies that had sat with him what was his deal. They quickly informed me that he only like the ‘new girls’.

You only get lucky with that one once, Mika. One vet giggled.

If I were going to get another round in, I would need to have help and to plan every detail carefully. Everyone involved would need to be tipped for their time and effort. I decided that I would sit with him again. The big question was exactly how new did one need to be.

Was his sense of freshness measured by hair color, accent, race, height, weight, scent, breast size, rump roast or ability to stay optimistic? It was Any-body’s guess because no one could remember being invited to sit with him more than once.

I made up my mind to get another round. It is not that he was so charming that I went to bed reminiscing about his dashing presence- no, I was just curious. I love playing dress up and putting on a the Ritz. Making money just doing that right is a blast. It is basically what Showgirls want from every exchange.

I’m so cute- adore me, tip me big Spender
An hour next door to his mind promised a certain insight to a man’s desires.

Your entertainment brings me the most joy- tip me

He was non-confrontational and easy to talk to even though he bobbed his head to some hardcore rap. In between mouthing the raw lyrics, he did ask personal stuff like, what side of town I was from, where I’d danced before, what turned me on, if I had any pets, what my favorite food was etc. It didn’t bother me. The chore of making up and learning a new script for another session didn’t bother me either.

I’m your Genie- try to Pop my cork

It’s no secret, I get wet when I see the almighty dollar. Twenties are even better.

He also contributed $20 to the music but wanted me to pick the songs. (This was the hardest angle to figure out. $20 is a lot of songs even if you pick ones that have never been downloaded)

Finally some one rescued me by yelling: Mika stand away from the jute box!

Spend a little more time with me

The following Tuesday, my show bag was packed for a good time, I wore a curly wig and a different shade of lipstick and higher shoe. I wrote down 20 songs and stuck the cheat sheet into my stocking. My goal was to have a different routine than the previous week. Everyone adjusts their gait in higher shoes. I was banking on all black girls looking alike to him.

According to my research the top hip hop rap songs and Artists for October 2007 are as follows- This took a while because I really can’t stand Eminem so I ignored all of his songs on the DJ charts. I lined up the following songs to play for Burt’s visit. This was really new for me:

1. Kiss Kiss – Chris Brown featuring T- Pain

2. We On- GemStones (a.k.a Gemini) ft. Lupe Fiasco and Pooh Bear

3. Hypnotized – Plies ft. Akon

4.When I Roll Up- Attitude

5. Good Life- Kanye West ft. T- Pain

6. Like Money- Three 6 Mafia

7. Lose Yourself- Eminem

7. My Neck, My Back- Khia

8. Air Force One- Nelly

9. Crossroads- Bone Thugs n Harmony

10. In the Club- 50 Cent

11. Fuck the Police- NWA

12. Gin and Juice- Snoop Dogg

13. Dilemma- Nelly

14. Changes- 2 pac

15. Superman- Eminem

15. Gangsters Paradise- Coolio

16. Still Fly- Big Tymers

17. Ruff Ryders Anthem- DMX

18. Wanksta- 50 Cent

19. Cleaning Out My Closet- Eminem

19. Always On Time- Wu tang Clan

20. Roll Out- Ludacris

21. How We Roll- Willie Joe

22. Dress Code- Cocked- N- Locked

23. Regulate- Warren G and Nate Dogg

24. Hit em Up- Tupac Shakur

25. Bottle Popping- Yung Joc

The plan was flawless. Even though Sierra has more of a classic, black girl build- thicker around the ass; men still get us mixed up. So, I asked Sierra to pretend that she was Mika- wearing her hair straight like I’d done my hair the last time I sat with Burt.

Burt always requests that the lady from his previous week introduce him to the new girl. He tips his old lady for walking the new girl over to him.

8 pm was the witching hour. Sierra kept reminding me that I was going to owe her one. The thought of being in her debt didn’t bother me. Maybe I could pay her off with a sweet kiss. The kind that girls know drive men crazy.

Our upcoming performance gave me an excuse to stroke and fuss with her hair and do her make up the way that I want her to wear her eyes all the time.

My soft mascara separated and stretched out her already full lashes and the copper tones made her lids appear to be slanted in the same direction as her nipples. I thought to myself what a shame that she couldn’t strut a nude stage to show off my artistry.

Burt showed up at 8:30pm. Sierra batted her eyes and went up to him first. It was lovely to watch her toss her head and run her fingers through her hair- impersonating all my bimbo, body language. I made a mental note to correct her in the gesture of raking her fingers from underneath of her hair- I always untangle my hair the top.

She introduced me as Michelle.

I acted like it was my first day on the job with my clothes off.

Burt: So how do you like it here, Michelle?

Michelle: It is cold.

Burt: Let’s go for a dance, maybe you will warm up.

Michelle: a dance? I thought you only like to talk.

Burt: well you look so cold, I figured that you would look better with sweat running down your chest. Let’s stop by the juke box and play some music. He handed over a twenty.

My cheat sheet really came in handy. Most of the current top rap hip hop songs were available. I didn’t have to dance to Eminem. I know he’s just an artist trying to make money but I really think his lyrics are driving men to treat women like garbage.

Now I’m thinking I should get a download cheat sheet prepared for each music genre. Instead of girls thinking that I am not on top of the music thing- I’ll always know what is jumping off before anyone else.

HOME STUDY makes you stand out in the CLUB Ladies

Back to Burt.

After my 1 !/2 of dancing and not hearing one Prince Song Burt said: Thanks Mika, You were so much fun.

Michelle: What do you mean? MIKA?

Burt: ahh, I knew that it was you all the time- it seemed as thought you went to so much trouble to keep my interest. I wondered how detailed you would get to convince me that you were someone else.

I wish that my wife would play around like that every once in a while.

Mika: Sometimes it is difficult to forget a day when you live with someone and just be playful.

Burt: My wife just let herself go. She’s fat and grumpy. The only way I would be convinced that she was someone else- is if she was nice to me.

Mika: That’s brutal.

Burt: This one friend said that I should try taking her out to a fancy hotel and send her to a spa. What a waste of money. She wasn’t happy. It is always the same thing with her, the same type of clothes, the same music and the same complaints. She hates rap! She doesn’t even know any rap songs. She doesn’t try to keep up with the world. She’s been old since the day after we got married.

It’s like she wanted somebody to count on in terms of security but doesn’t really love me. I doubt if she ever loved me.

Mika: maybe you do her wrong, maybe you hurt her.

Burt: my cock’s not big enough to hurt anybody

Mika: maybe that’s the problem!

Burt: you are wonderful and so honest.

Mika: I wasn’t so honest when I said my name was Michelle.

Burt: Come on tell me what’s wrong with me, I think you I can trust you.

Mika: I don’t think that there’s enough time for that.

Burt: let’s sit down and really talk…

Mika: cool with me, I don’t have nothing to loose by telling your problems- as I see it I’m ahead- you were only going to sit with me once

Burt: that was before you agreed to tell me why my wife goes about everything so blahhhhh.

Mika: that’s easy, her life doesn’t revolve around change. It is typical. Whatever a person is trained to do- that is what they do.

Does she need to change for any good reason? Did you tell her when your taste in music changed?

Burt: No.

Mika: so, you started venturing out musically and you just play Sinatra at home?

Burt: sort of.

Mika: well that’s what happened, you both changed and tried to convince the other one that you hadn’t out of fear of not being liked for who you were becoming.

Burt: I see your point, and that didn’t take long.

Guess I’ll see you in a couple of weeks. Lose the wig and line up a new playlist

Jazz would be a nice change, write it down… make me a copy, if you don’t mind.

Before, I decided to become an engineer- I fantasized about being a music major. I never had enough nerve. My parents would have been heartbroken if I’d said that I was going to be a musician.

Mika: See ya next time Burt- try not to live in the past. It’s never to late. Your homework is to see that movie Wild Hogs with John Travolta.

Burt: I’m a coo coo.





Fun Sexy: Mika Sniffs the Tale of Diablo Cody

16 09 2007

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Ex- Minneapolis stripper, Diablo Cody made it all the way onto David Letterman, Hollywood and the rights to turn her Pussy Ranch blog into a ‘mommyblog’. Go girl.

Mystery Mika ain’t gonna hate- I’m just gonna keep on writing and streaking with my little flint of the Lady Liberty’s torch.

The Big Dogs always want a Black Girl somewhere up there with them. Maybe through hard work and consistency, I can become that girl Black Girl/ Intellectual Stripper to get a book deal.

Hike up your skirt, curl into those pink fishnets, Salute with solidarity the most recent one of us who has made it off of Paradise Island.

See The Goddess Cody grip David Letterman with no hands! Tittiling…

Search Diablo Cody, the full interview on http://www.youtube.com. Breath taking!

Buy her book, Candy Girl, study her online writing at the Pussy Ranch, wait for the release of her movie- Juno.

Dave hammered her for 8:37 minutes with questions about Bed Dances, simulating intercourse, her husband, her book: Candy Girl a Year and a Life of an Unlikely Stripper.

Her comebacks were seamless,witty, punctual, rebellious!

Ahhh think I’m having a non forced orgasm. I can still feel the tongue of her man eating, magic lasso reaching into my Psyche, inviting my version of my naked truth.

If Diablo Cody knew that Mystery Mika existed, she would mud wrestle with me.

Together we would become Lyrical Honorary Mud Queens!

Go to Youtube.com. Fall in love with Diablo Cody. Misery loves company, I’ve already played it 10 times back to back.

I can smell her mane dyed dark almost black

She made me proud to be a Woman- a Young Goddess at that

Madam Cody wasn’t at all star- struck by his Republican Looking ass. David was so gracious toward her

Cody says to David Letterman without once freezing or drowning

1. My mother is still mortified.

2. I felt like a naked Margaret Meade

3. There’s nothing you can do to please a jaded strip club addict

4. The young enthusiastic guys are the best, I can just eat them alive!

Yes Yes Yes it can be done Cadettes! Get those Journals out and start writing. We all have a story to tell. We are strong. We are brave. We can have success without having sex.





Stay in the Kitchen #1

13 09 2007

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Over heard with a rock glass of Gin…

American men like women who think about cooking and if she is actually good at it, He adores her!

How powerful is a home cooked meal?

Men who cook are handsome to me. This goes both ways. Women who understand the bond that a man has with satisfied stomach get further with less argument. Children that are trained to eat at home will eventually prefer Mom’s cooking to going out.

Food preparation takes time, research and practice. So many people discount this in our hustle and bustle society. Fast food is so much more convenient when you are exhausted from being on the go. Aside from that many ladies think that they are being glamorous by taking the kids out all the time.

Many showgirls tell me that they never cook. Spending time preparing food and eating around a table together is a great opportunity to share what is going on in each other’s lives.

How can this be accomplished? For starters going out is more expensive. Tally up exactly how much you spend on eating out in one week.

The following week spend at least half of that on groceries instead of going out.

If you have a friend who normally treats you and your children to a meal. Ask him to go to the grocery store with you instead of buying one meal for one night.

Plan your meal before going to the grocery store- grocery store shopping shouldn’t be like shopping for shoes. It should only take 2 stops at most.

Let’s keep it real. Many showgirls are spoiled and not used to going placing alone. I know the struggles. I’m spoiled too. Times are tight, in order not to drop our work standards we need to be smart about the money we manage to hustle up.

Ladies, we are Hot; we don’t feel comfortable out alone. In this case, you should invest in some full coverage sweats that don’t have plugging neck lines so you feel better out shopping alone. Sun glasses help too. If you have a house boy, it’s time to include grocery shopping with you as one of his duties.

So let’s review:

Decide on your budget. It is a nasty word. The word itself implies that the boob job that you got isn’t paying off. Wrong. Money is just tight. Get your head out of the sand. Stop wasting time checking out a new spot- hoping to find a club that doesn’t have a kazillion girls on the floor trying to make a buck. It is slow everywhere.

1.Get one on- the- down -low shopping outfit. Regular gal clothes. You are really going shopping for food not a trick

2.BUDGET. Figure out how much you are spending eating out on Food.

Compare shop at grocery stores. I prefer Whole Foods. Their steaks taste better than Gibson’s Steak House in Chicago. (If you cook it right.) The butchers are very patient. Don’t be afraid to ask questions on how to prepare what you are buying.

3.MEAL PLAN Think Salad, 2 sides, meat or Vegetable Dish with Rice and bread.

Wine, water or juice. I like sparkling water with lime. This sort of thing on top of a table cloth makes it feel like a real restaurant.

If you want left overs double up. Buy 6 potatoes for 2 people. 2 cups of vegetables per person. You will have left overs for lunch.

Starting out takes time but if you shop smart you can have a full kitchen before winter. Next time we will talk about cooking gear such as pots, blenders, coffee grinders etc.





Motherless Mothers

8 09 2007

If you are pregnant and you need someone to talk to reach out

If you feel like you cannot care for the child seek shelter for the baby at the nearest fire department or hospital

paint me a painting of a valley in the middle of Spring

Mountain tops full of sunshine and storms . Paint me a cave for all of it highs and lows

If you are a woman singer, sing me a song of how long you crawled before you could stand tall. Show me a picture of your knees sinking in the dirt. Make the song sweet, slow traveling with time

If you are a mother rock a baby, hug an old lady.

Whisper to me how that love makes you forget any kind of pain

Tell me a story, not to scare me or control me but to tell me the truth

Every mother has her own way of parenting her children. Most choose to apply different rules and challenges to their daughters because they feel that the world treats women less than men. Often in an effort to protect their daughters mothers push their girls into living secret lives at the time in which they need them most.

During my brief career as a C.N.A, I worked in a nursing home where many elderly mothers lived out the end of their lives. Their children visited once or twice a week. Sometimes assisting as I changed the bed and the resident. Other times, waiting on the other side of a cracked door until I had finished dressing the patient and the bed.

Apparently, it is not odd not to want to see your mother unable to care for herself. The idea that your mother needs diapering is disturbing to most grown children.

Economics, ability to learn how to care for and family structure, dictate if ailing mothers will be placed in the care of a facility or remain at home with their family.

Love plays a part too. In my case I could not forgive my mother or forget how she physically attacked me when she had all of her power. So after she died, I tried to lift the guilt by taking care of other peoples mothers.

Our society is changing. People are finding ways to to talk about what wrongs happened to them. We are on the verge of becoming different. The truths are getting out of the closets.

Many young women still become runaways because of abuse. Without education and a stable home environment they are left vulnerable.

However the hurt young lady’s emotional state sets them up to become a different type of victim within the club atmosphere. Actually a wounded person may become a victim anywhere- within any setting.

It can be argued that Money can destroy anybody. I would say that if the person already has a load of problems and a lot of growing up to do then trouble is in the cards. It is impossible to tell a grown person what to do. Especially an angry person. It is as if people bent on destruction enjoy the attention from people begging them to slow down.

With cash money a person just has more ability and access to things to help them destroy themselves.

This Showgirl Blog is attempting to scratch at the surface of an issue that touches many women. Surviving as a Stripper or a woman in the adult industry. Most clubs have a list of things NOT to do to avoid getting arrested but no where have I seen a list of ways to save your money.

I would like to touch on a bit of both. I have some jokes to help the rough stuff go down better. People always like to say ‘ah I would never do that…’ then due to economic hardship find themselves trying to dance in secret.

Not all women dance for drugs or because they are screwed up. Some women are out here dancing to take care of several family members. There should be a tutorial for dancing. Mystery Mika is that tutor.

Mystery Mika is the ultimate virtual house mom. Pose a situation and I will tell you how I would wiggle out of it.

I am turned off by negativity. When I was a child I could do little to be where I wanted to be. Now that I am grown up I stay away from dark cloudy people. This makes me a very picky dancer. I may greet everyone but I don’t sit with everybody because some people are too strange.

My mother had a very violent nature. I credit living with her and dealing with her mood swings for giving me my short fuse for goof balls.

My way may not be the only way but I haven’t heard of anyone else writing a free tell all on the net.

I believe in God. I believe in passion. I believe in unity. I believe in knowledge. I believe in honesty.

It was painful but it order to survive, I had to put great distance between myself and my mother. Choosing to make a fresh start required outside help. In order to usher my first born in I employed the help of a midwife. I spent a lot of time in artsy places making new kinds of friends .

Many strangers recall my infamous, home water birth. My mother wasn’t by my side. I decided not to invite her. Even though she was a L.P.N, I felt as if her vibe would be wrong toward what I wanted to achieve.

During labor and delivery I hoped for Baby Bliss. I wanted to become worthy of guardian ship. I wanted to redirect my life by changing the road that I had been put on.

My midwife came highly recommended and I hoped that she could prepare me for challenge of labor pain without pain medicine. She showed me breathing exercises, recommended books, and herbs. She explained how every inch of my body would go into labor and deliver the baby.

From my 5th month of pregnancy, I was educated by Molly with the use of audio tapes of women giving birth, illustrations of female anatomy and testimonies of women who she worked with before me.

In the end I trusted her. Not everyone knows where to look when they need help. Nor are they able to recognize what is true when they see it, smell it or hear it. Some people try to drown their feelings and fear. They don’t appear to possess much hope that truth is or peace is for them to have in this life.

Many young women runaway from home and end up working in a strip bar. How you arrive at a place has a lot to do with how you will behave once you are present.

Mothers are necessary. When I was younger, I loved to sit up under old women and listen to their stories. At Mika’s Showgirl can hear some of my stories.

Hopefully when you are done with these pages you will realize that there is no such thing as fast or easy money. If you choose to become an entertainer, you will have some sort of insight to what is needed in your gear bag.





Enter into my Domain, Cocktail Priestess

30 08 2007

My studio is a mess. Can I get a Sissy to clean it?

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messy crowded counter

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this looks more like this chick Lucy than me- the jaw is too wide- chin is goofy too!

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Studio where it all happens

I’d rather be problem solving these paintings than twitching my butt-

The paintings are all awful and need about 20 hours each.

I hate them… uh feels like a fit coming on

Any bad little boys needing some punishment?

I just want to wash a Slave’s head in the toilet when a painting goes wrong.

As for the women of slaves. I can teach you a few new punishments to keep them loyal.

ahhh No! I’m getting frustrated with all the bouncing around and I think the tone will be changing. What is better than a front row seat in the Domain of a Dom?

Feeling the heat baby. The Heat on your Meat!

What will make it worse for ya?

Money. Money. Money. Mad money. More mad woman money

Make my day. Sissy SLut Slave.

Clean the floor. whisper blow a kiss with the whip

hot sensation

ain’t too proud to beg r you

Who’s sweating now?