Pole Tricks Everywhere

19 02 2008

If calling myself Pornography drives readers to Stumbleupon my site- then by all means call me pornography. Where else can Mystery Mika be slipped into a category?

‘Post Sex Education’ as a term hasn’t really been coined yet.

As long as I don’t end up being questioned by the police- guess things are alright.

When Elvis started with his leg shaking and pole tricks he was censored because parents didn’t like the idea of their teenage daughters fainting

Personally I don’t care who he ‘stole’ his moves from. Elvis was jamming like a ‘mo fo

Elvis makes pumping trash look so easy!

Where do Strippers really fall on the food chain? I posed this question this morning to my twitter followers.

A nice lady responded: Strippers fall right below exotic/pole dancers and right above prostitutes.

The main idea seems to be that strippers come in above prostitutes for people who don’t find what Strippers do amazing or involving skill.

As far as being Entertainers, what do most people classify Stripping as? Who is brave enough or desperate enough to do it?

It really depends on who you ask. Stripping is the topic of many hip hop songs.

Check out these Pole lite Girls from Manhattan, New York. Gosh, I will I’d thought of this!

I would bet my right Ugg boot, that the majority would say that stripping is cheap entertainment.

There is of plenty sexy stuff in our mist to have conversations about but most people are too tongue tied.

For the most part, it is good for business that the mainstream can’t get away from being shy when it comes to talking about sex.

If you have never gone to a Gentlemens’ club, then you have no idea of what a pole trick really looks like on stage. Maybe we should just keep it that way.

The women seem wicked. All poke yo booty stuff gets lumped into the same category.

I am completely surprised that Victoria Secrets catalogs make it out in regular mail without having to be sealed in plastic.

Who am I to upset this delicate balance that keeps our society sneaking around and feeling guilty?





Frances dear didn’t know she was a hot sex kitten

19 02 2008

Annie like lollipops

Anise lollipops

Anne’s anise lollipops

Give her kisses an anise flavor

When her tongue lies only on the short stick.

She takes her legs to her body (to run off)

and goes back to the drugstore

For a few pennies

Anne gets her anise lollipops

They have the color of her big eyes

The color of happy days.

When the anise flavored barley sugar

Sinks in Annie’s throat

She is in Heaven

This is the only translation that I was able to find on the Internet. All my French friends are still sleeping.

Thanks to youtube member BEKERIANO I can offer this black and white video link of Frances Gall performing Les Sucettes.

Wait til you see the head on the thing she is stroking in her lap!

Research leads me to believe that at the tender age of 18, Frances didn’t understand the hidden meaning of the lyrics that she was singing. Wikipedia says that she hid for weeks after finding out what men were thinking as she sang the innocent song.

Well later in life Frances Gall got more control over her career and sang this hit song to the Blues legend Ella Fitzgerald. The video in the background leads me to think that she was paying homage to the African American strife going on in America  at the time.

My French is terrible. As they say, a picture is worth a thousand words.





Girl Fight!

18 02 2008

In the past when the kid gloves came off there was nothing left but nylons and garter belts.

Betty Page captured the hearts of many in her signature black sheer pantie hose, patent leather pumps, stylish bangs. Her milk white skin was a unforgettable contrast to the way she glammed up for the camera.

Here’s a rare television interview with Betty Page. (Mystery Mika loves you, youtube.)

Betty Page wore black and never made it easy for her co stars to hog tie her.

Here’s Betty Page putting up a fight.

Should women really be pulling each others hair to entertain men?

Girl Fight!

It pretty much comes down to compensation.

If you are treated well and get paid well then it is okay.

If you are forced to do things that you don’t want to do and don’t get paid then it feels very bad.

In any business there are people trying constantly to get the upper hand.

Most people consider themselves smart when they see a profit.





Proud Mary

12 02 2008

Skilled dancers can break down the lifetime of a cherry blossom into universal gestures.. Trained and practiced singers have the willpower to push a melody so far under your skin that your spine tingles from vibrations of unknown truth.

Even babies will dance in the presence of a superb performer.

Once upon a time, I bobbed my head to Proud Mary without even understanding a single word that Tina said.

I remember my grandmother’s wooden record player. When the top was down it looked like a long, narrow table.

In the afternoon, after she fed her guppies, she would sing and dance to her favorite albums by Elvis, Sammy Davis, Dean Martin, Ike and Tina.

My life hadn’t yet gotten rough but I remember noting the difference between the way she sang ‘nice and easy‘ vs. ‘rough

Love was being nicknamed Sugar Lump

Love was being innocent- almost 3

Love was watching my grandmother grin. Her crisp apron tied around her chubby waist.

Is it ironic that my grandmother’s name was Mary?





Starting Valentine Count down

12 02 2008




Lick My Porno Cookie Vagina!

27 01 2008

lickmycookie1.jpg

Hiya Cadettes,

Day 2 of walking with the Porno Cookie Goodie Tray went very well. When I say well I mean the girls had fun and the guys had fun watching the girls have fun.

The biggest hit was the cookies shaped like Vaginae. I formed fat vaginae, wide open vaginae, big clit vaginae and floppy lip vaginae.

Blooming artistically with vagina sculpture, I will revisit Georgia O’keefe and study how that painter made eloquent creases and folds.

Even men who are horned out often refer to a pussy as a flower.

Some flowering vagina cookies will be nude for those that request that I not roll their porno cookie in powdered sugar.

The best thing about the Goodie Tray is that it speaks for itself.

The delicate, crispy, miniature, organic shapes assist the ladies who have a difficult time starting a conversation.

All the lady needs to do is grab a cookie and start licking. The flicking of the tongue is intuitive.

I noticed that each dancer had a unique lick pace-I assumed that she was licking my cookie at the speed that she liked to be stroked for pleasure.

The entire experience made a snowy afternoon more intriguing…

until we ran out of Vagina Cookies

The Cock and Ball Cookies were not as much fun.

Perhaps the men should lick those?
For now, it seems as though I’ve found a G spot.

Momma has finally figured out how to get the naughty dancers to do some real performance.

The new Mika Vagina dialogue was like sketchy word jazz. Only the vets knew exactly how and when to stop licking and add robust words that grabbed the customer’s imagination.

One girl exclaimed: I ate cooochie today for the first time!

A guy sitting on a bar stool said with a genuine grin : And we all watched!

The club atmosphere is better for everyone when the ladies put their creativity to use to express themselves sexually.

It is a team effort. Now buy a t shirt so that I can get some more Sugar to lightly dust my fat vagina cookie. If you purchase 5 items from the store leave your comment with this post and I will contact you and send you an autographed print of the above line drawing for FREE!

Click here to see what naughty things are in my store… ah here’s something fun from Soul Sacrifice





Play Dough

26 01 2008

Hiya Cadettes

This is just a quick note before I get back into the Porno Cookie Kitchen

Now I am realizing that this post should be posted at http://www.foodconfession.wordpress.com

Or maybe that is where the pictures will be when it is all said and done.

Anyway, the Porno Cookies went over very well on Mannheim Road.

Everyone noticed me and my Goodie Tray (I wore the Naughty Nurse outfit with the red cross that spreads across my boobs).

All I needed to say was something suggestive to get the laughter going.

Today I am rolling my buttery cookie tits and cocks in choco powder.

Many people want to see a black ass with white cocks. I’m trying to make a name for myself so I’d better give exactly what they ask for!

I plan on taking more time this morning shaping the sexy edible sculptures, hopefully this time my landlord won’t be peeking over my shoulder.

I would like to keep the shapes simple so that Men subconsciously think of Picasso

As a matter of fact, I think I’ll look through one of Picasso’ books right now before baking.

I’ll keep you posted.