Training for Pantyhose Haven

14 07 2008

A sexy girl’s car is often used for more than driving. In some ways a car is like our second home. I keep back up hair products, perfume, make up, clothes and of course- pantyhose!

My nylons are kept in a silky bag with a sachet of lavender right next to my roadside emergency kit in the trunk.

If I need to make a quick change, I try to hide however there is always someone who catches the indecent show

ahh that video was a perfect lesson for those of you who are planning to list yourselves at Pantyhose Haven.

watch it again and again until you can work at that slow pace.

Timing is everything when you are working with a Foot Fetish.

11 07 2008

Pantyhose Haven is a premiere listing set up for the Fantasy Dancer from coast to coast. In keeping with Mika’s Summer Showgirl School 2008 pantyhose fetish focal point- I’ve chosen to narrow the images to showcase the ladies wearing pantyhose and stockings. Consider the pantyhose as a uniform that may be dressed up or left bare.

The goal of Pantyhose Haven is give an alternative marketing venue and listing for Fantasy Dancers to present themselves exactly the way they choose to be displayed.

The dancer does not need to worry about her tasteful, sexy image being sandwiched between explicit sex ads and generic sex content. I love music so I’ve linked a few sexy celebrity videos! All of the videos have a lot of celebrity leg action to make the Entertainer listing a jolly to troll!

It is not necessary to show your face, but I do suggest that you summit photos of your true body- not to misled your possible patrons. Digital photos may be submitted via email. Email your photo within the body of your email to

suggestive tasteful full frontal pantyhose view

suggestive tasteful full frontal pantyhose view

Please include your Stage name, Club name, City and State. A line about yourself is optional.

No phone numbers will be listed. Pantyhose Haven is not a Escort Service or Dating Network.

Mystery Mika will work hard to make Pantyhose Haven a valuable tool in helping you as an Entertainer to build a loyal following.

Pawing Strippers

17 12 2007


After licking my wounds from yet another Internet censorship- Mystery Mika is up for the challenge of discussing a deep, throbbing Stripper Issue- TOUCHING.

Women who don’t dance wonder with goose bumps how we do it- that is how do we ‘bed dance’, ‘wall dance’, ‘lap dance’, ‘pole dance’ for men we hardly know in front of other people we hardly know.

Some married women don’t even feel comfortable with their husbands touching them- which doesn’t mean that they would make horrible strippers.

The defining protective bubble is all in your mind. The one thing about dancing is that if you don’t like how one guy is treating you- in most cases you may be able to excuse yourself and wait until a gentleman that suits you walks through the door.

First let’s laugh out loud at how the paw laws vary from state to state. For those of us who actually move around, it can become very confusing trying to remember what is allowed when and where.

The object on the game from the dancer’s perspective is to make our customers as happy with us as possible thereby earning the most tips available without going insane.

It is one thing to put ourselves on display and yet another to get touched all over.

#1.Get into Character distancing yourself from your Stripper Within

#2. Stay in Character all night- this is called performance

#3. Remember that the role you play at work in the club is not you.

I do not recommend drugs and alcohol- if you need to be drunk in order to dance then you are in the WRONG business.

Getting into character means bringing in a new ego with a different set of boundaries- Real actresses do it every time they get in front of the camera. It is the same thing for stripping. Except for the HOT leading man part, of course.

So Now that you are in the club and have on your costume you are ‘Patty the Entertainer’ not Sue the girl next door. You must believe it and be able to walk in and out of it at will- not someone else’s will. You must have full control of your mind and body. You must stick to your designed boundary laws no matter how much you want to make money.

If it is your first time in a particular club, it is a good idea to watch the floor and stage as the other women work the crowd. Watch what is being done, and pay attention to the rules that are actually followed. Decide from jump street what your comfort range is. Realize that some days are not going to end with walking out the door with cash because you don’t lower your standards.

Early in my career I devised a way around getting touched because it gets annoying when men who don’t know what the hell they are doing try to ‘help’ you out by touching within the erogenous zone.

Let me say this- women don’t need help getting off, most of us don’t go to work hoping to get off nor do we want dirty little fingers in our pussies. It is not helpful and I’d rather be walking my dogs.

Men fantasize that women like being touched to make themselves feel better for touching.

I don’t mind touching by wall dancing and lap dancing as much as I mind getting touched.

Mika is famous for rendering men helpless by beating them at their own game. I have formulated a chair massage that is for entertainment purposes only- my rub relaxes men.

The human body has various pressure points. Most men have sore joints and tight neglected muscles from working hard or sitting all day.

Naughty Nurse Mika addresses these male stress points so well that men crave it, return for it and are too busy getting it to worry about touching me.

Thank God.

Thank God I have found something to offer to keep ’em satisfied and coming back.

I took 250 hours of massage therapy classes 15 years ago and used to be a Nurse Technician before Sarcoidosis hit me. I am familiar with human anatomy and scope of practice.

I keep my chair rub down simple and fun. Nothing fancy or therapeutic.

When a man comes into a strip bar- he’s looking for quality company. The best way to give him that is not by allowing him to grab and grope but to ease his mind.

Think about that Cadettes.

Intro to Music with Tommy Klein #2

25 10 2007

It is late morning and I am sipping on Green Jade tea and listening to Tommy Klein practice Waltz in G by Ferdinand Carulli. It is interesting to catch up with the old schoolers to see what and how they keep up with the flow in these ever changing times.

Keep in mind that Tommy is so occupied with his acoustic guitar that he doesn’t even know that I am interviewing him. We are just chatting. Later I say thanks for the interview!

His guitar is a nylon string, student model, Gracia guitar that he says isn’t really expensive but it has a sticker on the inside that tells where all the wood came from and that it was made in 1970.

Mika: How long have you been practicing today?

Tommy K: This morning, I got up and started around 4:30am because I couldn’t sleep.

We started out talking about Harry Belafonte, Miriam Makeba and Bobby Darin. My friend Dan had been playing Belafonte yesterday at Bite Cafe on his Ipod – my 10 month old, daughter loved it. Suddenly I want to know more about Harry Belafonte. I am asking every musician that I know about Harry.

Tommy K : Harry Belafonte is an activist- back in his day he was King of Calypso. It makes sense that a toddler would find his music ‘bouncable‘. Calypso is enjoyable because it is dynamic with surprising sounds.

Mika: I see a spectrum of color while listening to Harry

Tommy K: My mentor and teacher, Jack Cecchini played as part of the band for Harry Belafonte and Miriam Makeba. Jack played with Bobby Darin too. Bobby Darin supported and marched with Martin Luther King. You can say that those performers were pioneers when it came down to entertainers joining movements and demanding civil rights.

One night in the early 90’s, when I was still operating the Vic Theatre… Miriam Makeba and her band were playing… I went outside to have a look around and there was Jack Cecchini standing in line! I got him out of line, brought him inside and put him in a box.

I didn’t know he was coming because I hadn’t talked to him in a long time. Jack hadn’t talked to Miriam in a long time. Everyone had a blast.

You should try to interview Jack. I bet he has some show business stories for you. Back in their day, those musicians were cutting edge. Jack played with all of them and he always slept with the band and didn’t go along with the black/white this and that separation nonsense!

Mika: How did you meet Jack Ceccini?

Tommy K: When I was 17 years old, I had a music teacher on the south side of Chicago who I’d been taking lessons from- one day he took me aside and said- look Kid, I’ve taken you as far as I can take you. It is time you seek another Teacher. He recommended Jack Ceccini who had a little store that was managed by his wife, Eve.

Tommy K: I wanted to learn from the best, so I called the store and booked a lesson. The rest is history!

Mika: Why do you practice classical music if you are considered a Jazz musician?

Tommy K: Classical has good format and good technique it can be applied to modern jazz and rock. You want to have good technique even when you play electric guitar!

Mika: I have absolutely no idea of what good technique consists of but I love Along the Watch Tower by Jimi Hendrix.

Tommy K: All Along the Watchtower? That’s a Bob Dylan tune. Jimi Hendrix liked Bob Dylan a lot.

Mika: That surprises me. They seem so different- but then I know squat about music.

Tommy Klein gets up from the music stands and walks over to his Mac. I think he was trying to find Bob Dylan doing All Along the Watchtower but comes up with Dylan doing Like a Rolling Stone instead.

Tommy K: Jimi Hendrix did like a Rolling Stone too.

Mika: I think of Bob Dylan as a poet. I must admit that all these years of dancing-  I’ve only recently  started paying attention to who wrote the music that I dance to. DJ have been handling all that stuff. I’m too cheap to put money in the juke box- I just say play some Rock or R and B.

Tommy K: Bob Dylan is a  poet- he was saying something important to that generation when he wrote those songs… listen to the lyrics. Dylan has mass appeal.

Mika: What are you listening to lately?

Tommy K: Right now, I’m on this Opera’s Greatest Tenors kick. I made friends with this guy down the street- so happens he’s a accomplished, local, opera singer. He played me one of his recordings and he sounds just like Pavarotti- but then I don’t know much about opera. Anyway, we started this book exchange. I’m studying the history of opera and the greatest tenors. It’s cool. The funny thing is that I never like that kind of music before.

Mika: Why do you think that you were like that then and what caught your ear recently?

Tommy K: Well it is so organic. My neighbor has a collection of recordings and a Victrola. When he cranked up the album it was all scratchy and stuff but it sounded so ripe. I was taken aback. Back in those days the musicians had to get it right without sound studio technology.

Mika: Maybe you ran out of other styles and Opera is your last frontier.

Tommy K: Neeeh. As you get older, you get more open minded… Opera wasn’t my style… it’s an acquired taste- Guess now I am old enough to appreciate it.

HOOD Memo- the Day After

24 09 2007

Yeah I’m still here. No, this Blog is not turning into some ‘mommyblog’ like Diablo Cody’s Pussy Ranch blog. For one thing I’m not famous yet. For another Domestic Violence is a Showgirl Issue too. I urge all Showgirls to pick a fight and jump in. Involve yourselves in some form of community outreach that helps battered women.

Domestic Violence seeps into all communities not just Chicago’s west side. There are women on the Gold Coast getting their asses beat too.

Consensual Role Play is not the same as Domestic Violence and should not be confused with the Sexy Games that grown people play.

People who don’t know anything about leather, vinyl, latex, water sports, corporal punishment, bondage, role reversal, fetishes and body worship may quickly jump to conclusions.

S and M Lifestyle are exploring their issues within the boundaries of their themes where as Domestic Abusers are lashing out without control or regard for the other person’s wishes or safety. We have completely different experiences.

It is my responsibility to talk about Domestic Violence and a draw a harsh line between the two because we don’t need anyone getting the wrong idea.

The age of consent for having sex in Illinois is 17.

Mystery Mika’s quote of the Day: Sex is a multi- layered way of engaging with another person. When it goes right, you have blissful happiness when it goes wrong it can get terribly painful and violent.

I don’t know what these High Schools call themselves teaching in regards to Sex Education but from what I see in the streets it is not working. The lessons are not helping young people have healthy relationships.

This concerns all of us because the violence spills out onto the street where folks with good sense are attempting to go about their lives.

Margaret Mead Quote of the Day: Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world; indeed, it is the only thing that ever has.

So Now we have a Mika’s Showgirl lesson to spread because my Cadettes are taught to address the Big picture.

Feel free to adopt my letter to an Abusive Brother (Sunday’s post) make it your own by adding your special quote of the day that maintains the spirit and tone of the letter.

Make 100 copies Showgirls and hand them out a Churches, High Schools and Street Corners where guys hang out.

My Sunday morning of passing the letter out was transformational. My children and I went to 30 different churches to leave our message. I had no idea on what was going to happen. I figured that the Church Mothers would be most responsive to my son’s voice. So I sent him in dressed in a button down collared shirt and a single letter printed on white paper.

The over half of the ushers came outside to see where the boy had come from.

I wore a black and white, lace print, J. Crew, below the knee dress with a collar of pearls tight at my neck. Nuri at the Salon just gave me a fresh perm on Friday so my hair very neat and bone straight.

This look really didn’t match the white puma’s and white socks on my feet but I needed comfort to hop in and out of the car. Besides I only got out to hand the letter to men and boys hanging out on the street corners.

When I got out of my car, I smiled and asked: Who’s the Boss?

The guys were shocked.

Nobody ever wanted to claim being the boss. So I would ‘once over’ the crowd again to see what person was attempting the hardest to look like he had no control over the guys.

Sometimes, as I stood, it was like a face off- for the Boss to step forward. In one instance a guy stepped up to me- Big as hell! His facial hair was very well groomed like he had just got out of the barber’s chair. He said: let me see what you got here… and took my simple letter.

I was amazed as to how many men read the letter.

One man standing in front of a church said- you got heart.

So Cadettes this is Mystery Mika’s Stand up against Domestic Violence Week.

Today I am going to High Schools, street corners and barber shops.

I am printing 40 letters today. It took 2hours yesterday to pass out 30.

Have at it Ladies.

Before She Was Famous

17 09 2007

Everyone wants to represent like a Stripper these days. This time it is Nicole Kidman in a cheap catalog looking bra on the cover of the October 2007,Vanity Fair. What was she thinking?

The picture is all over the supermarket check out line- looking a hot mess.

I’ve seen plenty of saucy photographs of Kidman. I know she has more to offer than that doe caught in the headlights stare.

Wait a minute, if Nikki was going after the next top model with that pic, she would be quickly overshadowed by girls who want to be seen. Tyra would get a crook from snapping her neck: NO, come stronger or Go home!

Some people should just glue their clothes on. Stripping ain’t for everybody!

Girls hoping for a big break and money to free themselves would send that sort of competition packing. What is show business coming to?

Wait, I’m not finished.

Furthermore,If Nikki was at the strip club as blank, innocent and lost as on the cover of Vanity Fair, she would become instant ‘new girl prey’.

Every bad guy in the joint would have an attitude of superiority toward her or a moralized cocktail for her to suck on. Weakness attracts the bad guy.

Pity. Pity on You Nicole Kidman for taking a step backward. You look as if this picture was taken before you were famous.

Half naked and lost looking broads are an insult to real erotic entertainers who have a reason to strip.

Strip to have fun. Strip to make money. Strip to have extra time to work on your art. Strip because you are a bad ass. Strip to pay for a home health care nurse to keep your grannie out of the nursing home. Strip to buy organic food… but don’t strip because you are famous and can’t think of anything else to do.

I’m not finished.

I haven’t ranted about the costume. It could have been cute if her eyes didn’t go dead the minute the anchor pooped off…


It is war time. Soldiers are putting themselves in harms way everyday. If you are going to don a military uniform- Shout it out! Come heavy. Give them something to pin up! Looks to me like she was dummied up and pushed into the Sailor Gimmick without much research.

Nikkie didn’t seem to understand exactly why she was in a Sailor Suit. If Putting it on didn’t mean anything then taking it off is going to mean less. It is all over her face.

Mystery Mika Showgirl Hint: Understand the costume, time period of the design that you are modeling. Audiences are going to attach the current events to the image that you present. Duh.

She doesn’t look like she having any FUN! She wasn’t sending any love out to our boys at war in the sea.

So I’m left thinking she didn’t really want to do it.

Why do this celebrities keep letting their people convince them that Stripping is the new IN thing?

We strippers are trying to make the most of what we get to start out with, which in most cases, ain’t much.

Give me a damn sailor suit, I’d sock it with nothing less than a fabulous bra.

Fun Sexy: Mika Sniffs the Tale of Diablo Cody

16 09 2007


Ex- Minneapolis stripper, Diablo Cody made it all the way onto David Letterman, Hollywood and the rights to turn her Pussy Ranch blog into a ‘mommyblog’. Go girl.

Mystery Mika ain’t gonna hate- I’m just gonna keep on writing and streaking with my little flint of the Lady Liberty’s torch.

The Big Dogs always want a Black Girl somewhere up there with them. Maybe through hard work and consistency, I can become that girl Black Girl/ Intellectual Stripper to get a book deal.

Hike up your skirt, curl into those pink fishnets, Salute with solidarity the most recent one of us who has made it off of Paradise Island.

See The Goddess Cody grip David Letterman with no hands! Tittiling…

Search Diablo Cody, the full interview on Breath taking!

Buy her book, Candy Girl, study her online writing at the Pussy Ranch, wait for the release of her movie- Juno.

Dave hammered her for 8:37 minutes with questions about Bed Dances, simulating intercourse, her husband, her book: Candy Girl a Year and a Life of an Unlikely Stripper.

Her comebacks were seamless,witty, punctual, rebellious!

Ahhh think I’m having a non forced orgasm. I can still feel the tongue of her man eating, magic lasso reaching into my Psyche, inviting my version of my naked truth.

If Diablo Cody knew that Mystery Mika existed, she would mud wrestle with me.

Together we would become Lyrical Honorary Mud Queens!

Go to Fall in love with Diablo Cody. Misery loves company, I’ve already played it 10 times back to back.

I can smell her mane dyed dark almost black

She made me proud to be a Woman- a Young Goddess at that

Madam Cody wasn’t at all star- struck by his Republican Looking ass. David was so gracious toward her

Cody says to David Letterman without once freezing or drowning

1. My mother is still mortified.

2. I felt like a naked Margaret Meade

3. There’s nothing you can do to please a jaded strip club addict

4. The young enthusiastic guys are the best, I can just eat them alive!

Yes Yes Yes it can be done Cadettes! Get those Journals out and start writing. We all have a story to tell. We are strong. We are brave. We can have success without having sex.