Where you can put that camera?

21 10 2007


This is something to do with the whole crew watching! Steven Tyler gives new meaning to Open Wide… Blow a Cord Dude!

Love that Rocker! He is so cute. So Turn up the volume, pop some popcorn and curl up to watch the National Geographic Show on cable tonight- See how to burst some blood vessels – how your mouth works.

Imagine the amount of wear and tear we Showgirls put on our various soft tissues… lol

Here is a excerpt from the National Geographic interview about the Incredible Human Machine:
Chad Cohen: This program shows how the entire body works together as one very well-oiled machine. But we also highlight how the body sometimes doesn’t work, with stories of everyday people undergoing extraordinary new medical procedures. We feature the first study injecting stem cells into patients suffering from heart failure; the first test measuring a performer’s vocal activity during a live performance; and the first retinal implant trial. We also show off a lot of new medical imagery. You’d be amazed at the places you can stick a camera these days.

Nat Geo: How were you able to get access to film Steven Tyler of Aerosmith from the inside out?

Chad Cohen: Steven had recently come to Dr. Steven Zeitels of Massachusetts General Hospital with a vocal bleed that had caused the band to cancel part of its tour. Dr. Zeitels pioneered a noninvasive method of laser surgery that zaps the blood vessels, sealing them off and stopping the bleeding. Steven was very impressed with the surgery and happy that his voice was working again. Both he and Dr. Zeitels were interested in getting the story of the technology out there, and I think they trusted National Geographic Channel to tell it in the way it should be told.

Nat Geo: What was it like filming the live sequence with Steven during the concert?

Chad Cohen: It was crazy backstage, not the sort of place a National Geographic producer usually finds himself. Steven was a pleasure to work with and was really interested in learning how his voice actually worked. The doctors hooked him up with devices to measure the speed of his vocal cords and to monitor his heart rate and respiration rate during the live performance. It was hilarious when he went out on stage and said, “Thank you to Massachusetts General Hospital and National Geographic for getting me ‘more wired’ than I have ever been before.” During the concert, we recorded how many times his vocal cords flapped together — it was more than 500,000 times, and his vocal cords traveled more than six miles over the course of the show. No one has ever recorded real-time data like that during a rock concert.

CHECK it out Cadettes… Educational Television

watch it with your kids.

Make Love Not War and Dream On.


Andre the Giant has a Posse

26 09 2007

Hi, It’s me Mika and I am still on this domestic violence campaign/ kick. The campaign is in response to an incident that occurred on the curb outside my house around noon on Wednesday, September 12th, 2007.

I would rather be mud wrestling Diablo Cody

It is Day 3 of the circulation of my anonymous Hood Memo to an Abusive Brother. This is so scary. I just want the edginess and tension to burn off. I would like to go back to being who I was b4 I saw the neighbor dragging and punching his girlfriend in front of her kids.

My life will never the same but I will only consider myself successful if his life isn’t the same after this week.

I would rather be eating cupcakes

Now I must act like a hummingbird. Each person who receives the Letter is instructed to post it, translate it into another language or otherwise share it- if you can’t see anyway to improve it just leave it as is and pass, pass, pass it on.

I started on Sunday by going to 30 churches. Yesterday I went around to my friends in Humboldt Park. I stopped by Chicago Public radio as well and gave many High School students a copy of the letter.

I asked the young ladies to send it as part of their emails.

Today I went to barber shops, car washes and many street corners and handed out copies of the letter. To date I’ve gone through about 120 copies.

Over the course of the 3 days the letter has changed. It is now printed in black ink on pastel blue paper. Blue is for Boy right? It took some calling around but, I finally found an organization that counsels Men who are domestic abusers. The counseling phone number has been added to the Letter to An Abusive Brother

The only way to keep my teeth from chattering is to fantasize about cool stickers that say Mystery Mika has a Posse. It is probably really wrong to use a naughty self portrait- or is it? I’m still me. It is okay to be me but it is not okay to be him.

At the end of the day, I am afraid to come home fearing that my abusive neighbor has gotten the HOOD Memo and recognizes the portrait of himself. I’ve decided for safety reasons to make My block the last block in the city that will be covered with the Blue Letters
Even though he may expect that I am watching him- he could never expect something of this magnitude to be stirring around him- about him and his uncontrolled rage. Everyday I am comforted by him. He is always measuring my steps. So I had to do something.

Mystery Mika has a Posse.

A special shout out to Dan’s Breakfast Club- without you guys, I would not be able to do any of this! You Men Rock and I love You.

Sometimes when I see her she is just sitting on the porch staring off into a daze. She avoids looking at me if he is sitting close by. Other times when she alone she is sobbing silent tears. The next time I’m going to hug her.

How many of you reading this know of a person that this is happening to? On Sunday I meant a High School Principal who told me that young boys are beating up their girlfriends very frequently inside of her School. Why is this so widespread? Are you willing to do something?

Find out where men can get help in your area. Copy the letter and start passing it around.

I am desperate for the Violence to stop- people are always complaining about the war in Iraq. How about doing something to end the battles on our streets and in our homes!

Threats take many forms

#1. The guy is always sitting on the front stoop with his friends who are wearing band-aids in various places. I need to pass his crowd whenever I enter my apartment. He seems to know that I have something up my sleeve.

2. Lately I have made attempts to slip the young lady a tiny slip of paper that has the phone numbers of shelters that she can go to but he is always watching- even when he is sitting on the next door neighbor’s porch- he is watching… if I get too close to her, he comes into range and he stands and watches us.

3. Last night I did something very bold- it was instinct, I didn’t think long about it I just decided to say more than two words to her. From across the street as I walked my dogs past where she was sitting on the porch I shouted: Girl llllllllllll! How you doing? You know, I’ve been thinking about you allllllllllllllll night!

She responded with a shy smile. For the first time since I meant her she looked barely 21. She swung her legs with excitement as if to say: Finally somebody cares.

We are so different, I am twice age but she usually looks hallow. The whites of her eyes are always muddy from the heat that bottled up when your spirit is in hiding.

Let’s end this. I’m going to bed it is 2:39 am.

When I wake up I’m going to eat blue cupcakes and write to Diablo on her blog asking her if she would like to mud wrestle.

Good Night.

HOOD Memo- the Day After

24 09 2007

Yeah I’m still here. No, this Blog is not turning into some ‘mommyblog’ like Diablo Cody’s Pussy Ranch blog. For one thing I’m not famous yet. For another Domestic Violence is a Showgirl Issue too. I urge all Showgirls to pick a fight and jump in. Involve yourselves in some form of community outreach that helps battered women.

Domestic Violence seeps into all communities not just Chicago’s west side. There are women on the Gold Coast getting their asses beat too.

Consensual Role Play is not the same as Domestic Violence and should not be confused with the Sexy Games that grown people play.

People who don’t know anything about leather, vinyl, latex, water sports, corporal punishment, bondage, role reversal, fetishes and body worship may quickly jump to conclusions.

S and M Lifestyle are exploring their issues within the boundaries of their themes where as Domestic Abusers are lashing out without control or regard for the other person’s wishes or safety. We have completely different experiences.

It is my responsibility to talk about Domestic Violence and a draw a harsh line between the two because we don’t need anyone getting the wrong idea.

The age of consent for having sex in Illinois is 17.

Mystery Mika’s quote of the Day: Sex is a multi- layered way of engaging with another person. When it goes right, you have blissful happiness when it goes wrong it can get terribly painful and violent.

I don’t know what these High Schools call themselves teaching in regards to Sex Education but from what I see in the streets it is not working. The lessons are not helping young people have healthy relationships.

This concerns all of us because the violence spills out onto the street where folks with good sense are attempting to go about their lives.

Margaret Mead Quote of the Day: Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world; indeed, it is the only thing that ever has.

So Now we have a Mika’s Showgirl lesson to spread because my Cadettes are taught to address the Big picture.

Feel free to adopt my letter to an Abusive Brother (Sunday’s post) make it your own by adding your special quote of the day that maintains the spirit and tone of the letter.

Make 100 copies Showgirls and hand them out a Churches, High Schools and Street Corners where guys hang out.

My Sunday morning of passing the letter out was transformational. My children and I went to 30 different churches to leave our message. I had no idea on what was going to happen. I figured that the Church Mothers would be most responsive to my son’s voice. So I sent him in dressed in a button down collared shirt and a single letter printed on white paper.

The over half of the ushers came outside to see where the boy had come from.

I wore a black and white, lace print, J. Crew, below the knee dress with a collar of pearls tight at my neck. Nuri at the Salon just gave me a fresh perm on Friday so my hair very neat and bone straight.

This look really didn’t match the white puma’s and white socks on my feet but I needed comfort to hop in and out of the car. Besides I only got out to hand the letter to men and boys hanging out on the street corners.

When I got out of my car, I smiled and asked: Who’s the Boss?

The guys were shocked.

Nobody ever wanted to claim being the boss. So I would ‘once over’ the crowd again to see what person was attempting the hardest to look like he had no control over the guys.

Sometimes, as I stood, it was like a face off- for the Boss to step forward. In one instance a guy stepped up to me- Big as hell! His facial hair was very well groomed like he had just got out of the barber’s chair. He said: let me see what you got here… and took my simple letter.

I was amazed as to how many men read the letter.

One man standing in front of a church said- you got heart.

So Cadettes this is Mystery Mika’s Stand up against Domestic Violence Week.

Today I am going to High Schools, street corners and barber shops.

I am printing 40 letters today. It took 2hours yesterday to pass out 30.

Have at it Ladies.

Shooting Blanks

19 09 2007

171381800v1_240x240_front_color-blackwhite.jpg BUY THIS SHIRT NOW at www.cafepress.com/mysterymika101

Times are tight, for some getting a Vasectomy is right

Announce to that special lover that you have taken care of business by sporting a Naughty Nurse tell all t- shirt.

Enjoy the freedom to choose the best way to make a settle hint.

I now have this adult humor, cozy Vasectomy T shirt and mug available at my http://www.cafepress.com/mysterymika101 online shop.
Be the thoughtful gift of Love with a chuckle!

Hot for the Teacher or I Break for Geeks

6 09 2007

About 2 years ago I stopped focusing on dirty talk at the club to get dances. One day it just hit me- these guys have money to burn. Instead of trying to get them to give me their money, why don’t I ask them detail questions on how they got their money so right. I decided to listen carefully and pick up some techniques to apply to my own life.

Men love to boast about how good they are at what they do. Even if they are reacting as if they as shy- they love the attention!

The Donald is a perfect example. It isn’t enough for him to have all the money in the world. He needs an hour of television each week to talk about it.

Yeah Donald Trump. I would rather spend an hour with a geek who isn’t so stuck up. Donald is way to loud.

Anyway back to the lesson…

Once a face is attached to an occupation, everything about the person becomes more familiar. Names become easier to remember. People like to be remembered.

Now I am addicted to interviewing men about their careers. Often they are very shocked that I give a damn. The reality show Beauty and the Geek has made it into a phenomena for brainy men to have access to playboy pinups. Whatever.

How often does this occur in real life- how true is it? I love men with brains!

Mika breaks for geeks.

I can’t even eat breakfast without scouring the room for a possible candidate to quiz. I haven’t fallen in love, but it is nice to make all different types of friends. Now I ask men tons of questions every chance I get- even when I am not working for tips. I working for knowledge.

Here is a little blurp between Mystery Mika and one of my favorite real life Sound Geeks, Elliot Dicks of Chicago.


Elliot is a one man sound engineering and rental company that he unofficially calls ElliotSound. He started freelancing and collecting sound gear in 1988.

Over tofu scramble and Billy Bragg playing through our waiter’s, Ipod… Elliot insists that he is a vegetarian more because he is a picky eater than because of politics.

This weekend ElliotSound is handling the Sound for three shows in Chicago.

1. Hideout Block Party, 2. AV- aerie, 3. Jackhammer

Mystery Mika asked Elliot Dicks who seems to be very busy doodling:

‘How do you keep it all straight?’


‘I draw diagrams for each show. I start where the sound starts- at the microphones. I count all the microphones, cables, stands and then to the mixing board, amplifiers and ending at the speakers. I count everything over again- making sure I have the right number.

The diagram is also a floor plan showing the guys helping me at the show where the outlets are. Everything needs to be plugged in.’

Next time, Elliot promises to shed some light on Gig Butt and Swamp Ass which apparently is a hot topic in Sound Chat rooms!

Dr. Susan Love’s Breast Book

6 09 2007

Add this one to your Mika Showgirl’s School textbook list. As of now the Book Club portion of Mika’s Showgirl School is in session.

It will probably take about 6 months for us to get through the book on this blog. I plan to read it chapter by chapter and discuss it with myself on the blog. In the end I plan to have a better grasp on my tits. You can too.

Ladies who were only planning on reading this blog for kicks can come along with me on the journey for more knowledge concerning breast care or just stick to reading the sexy dirt and gossip. Regardless I get hits. Hits make me look good.

The last time I assigned a book ( I Know Why the Cage Bird Sings by Maya Angelo) no one commented. I read the book, but I didn’t know where to take it from there without any feed back.

I’m pissy about it.

It would be uplifting and supportive for young women in the adult industry to build an actual book club revolving around the books that I assign.

So many women regardless of tax bracket, religion, and job description are afraid to even open up the can of worms of breast cancer talk. This is one that we can do together putting competition and judgements aside.

Let’s do ourselves a favor… get the book and let’s read it together. Become informed for yourselves, your mothers and your daughter’s healthy future.

I bought my copy of the 4th edition, Dr. Susan Love’s Breast Book by Susan M. Love, M.D with Karen Lindsay at Whole Foods Market for $22.00.

$22 bucks is a small price to pay to stay alive and jiggling.

Trapped in the Closet-Veteran Stripper Speaks

2 09 2007


headshot: http://www.dreamboxphoto.com

R. Kelly is not the only artist putting a new spin on the daily grind.

September is here and Mika’s Online Showgirl School is back in session. Enough of that fluffy Summertime stuff- it’s time to make you sweat. I am turning up the heat.

This fall we will exploring:

In LOVE and Family

1. The Art of Hot Kissing, Falling in Love

For Strippers Sacrificing for their children, Mika will share the Home Schooling Survival Guide


2. Hamming it up for the Stage

3. Costume Adornment

4. The Successful Erotic Journal

For Our Health we will exam

5. Our Healthy Breast Goal

6. Slim and trim Kitchen Recipes

7. Flirty Girl Fitness, Chicago

8. Belly Dancing

9. Yoga

In Entertainment

10. Mystery Mika’s Dirty Shame Comic Opera

11. Dog Lore- A Dominatrix Thought Matrix

In Art

Making of Marque Posters- In the Spirit of my favorite Henri Toulouse Lautrec


Mika will continue to play Golf and Sail as long as the weather will allow. Pictures will be posted noting my progress

As always I look forward to serving you as your one and only American Virtual House Mom, please call 900- 787-6642 for private coaching. You must be 18 years of age or older. Calls are 2.99 per minute so have your questions ready.

Money is tight so I’ve decided to talk dirty on the 900 number.

Hey, I aim to please.

Make my day by donating to the School which is for profit, awareness, sanity and better Strippers. At the top of the page you can link to my paypal account. A little support goes a long way. If everyone who enjoys reading supports me with $2 a month- My quality of writing will improve. Perhaps I could add video and podcast. Help me serve you by commenting and donating.

You will remember me all night especially if you drink from one of my cups of Lust found in my fan shop at http://www.cafepress.com/mysterymika101.

Yall cum back now!

Oh, by the way I asked the photographer not to retouch the above photograph because Nothing is perfect in this world, including me.

Let’s open the closet doors ladies.

This Fall I invite you to work on who you are and become better entertainers through the journey.

In the end, you will make more money because being the best you will Give your audience more Bang for the buck.

Sincerely, The Creative Artist in Residence

Chiara Young of Sweet Home Chicago