The Big Pink Slip LOL Cat Icanhascheezburger!

13 10 2008

The first thing I wanted to know when I started my blog was who in the Hell are these Icanhascheezburger people. When I first started my blog, the lol cat was always on the first page at wordpress. I was pondering why so many people comment on their kitten photos! It took a while before I realized that readers were able to add their own pics. Actually I know that this is now the case as Icanhascheezburger has since moved to their own domain. They allow for you to make your own funny kitten picture and have currently branched into funny ferrets photos too. Ahh the simple life of sharing on the internet!

Today while searching for an answer about changing the dimensions of a video I ran across this ICANHASCHEEZBURGER video with Ben Huh. It is weird that there are so many Hatah comments following the video since we all know the development has been a huge success.

There’s a huge gap between what we know and what we need to know to stay afloat during these tough economic times. The city of Chicago recently gave out about 250 pink slips on city jobs. There had been

an ongoing myth that if you were lucky enough to get City Employment your job would be safe and always secure. Not true. All jobs are at risk. Except people who love making cat jokes at Icanhascheezeburger!

Everyone wishes that the could think of some great idea that would drive traffic to their website.

Since really dumb things seem to get tons of traffic on the internet- here is a very silly video of Mystery Mika in a tight pink slip listening to a geek on the internet talk about his success. I am eating a very hot pepper and just being the miltf next door.

Mystery Mika has been very busy over at Pantyhaven attempting to upload at least 2 real videos a week. The work load has run me into the ground. Perhaps I’ve lost part of my mind and needed to just let my hair get tangled. All alone, I am constantly sorting material and trying to keep up the demands of being an internet hottie.

Several times I have run into tech problems because I really don’t know a damn thing about computers or dealing with video files.

For me twitter has been a life jacket in a sea of blood thirsty alligators. Everyone wants a blow job for any help that they can offer me- except my twitter followers. Unfortunately that is not a figure of speech!

If it were not for the geeks at Twitterverse I’d would have given up my dreams of directing and uploading entertainment a long time ago. Mystery Mika is living proof that if you type around a geek somewhere will be happy to answer a technical question without expecting oral manipulation afterwards.

What can I say? The internet has ruined it for the pimps!


16 08 2008

Well Summer is just about over. Mystery Mika has been having a great time at Pantyhose Haven but is  looking forward to a nice Autumn of taking my Show on the road. Pantyhose Haven may be slowing down. There will only be one Pantyhose video added each week or when I’m motivated.

The good news is that Mystery Mika will be coming to a Beauty Shop near you offering several treats!

The Hair documentation on my somewhat mainstream and low key  youtube channel is attracting more views per day than any other thing that I have going. Hair Care and Hair Style is a popular subject which makes me optimistic about taking this Hair matter a step further.

Keep up to date with my Salon Features by subscribing to my youtube channel. I will be documenting special occasion, streaking, frosting , conditioning, relaxer hair processes.

One funny thing that I’ve noticed during my  time behind the camera  at the Salon is that  Fetish does not escape the Beauty Salon.  People have fetishes around Rollers and Capes to start. So not to leave any group out Mystery Mika will purposely strike a pose-

Eros Slave, The Peeling

24 07 2008

“Trust me,” he said as the corner of his lips slightly upturned into a love so tender grin. He was no Elvis.

Without warning, He let her finger slip out of his hand and headed for the dark beckoning night.

She wanted to do exactly that- trust him for eternity. Even though she was standing up, her legs parted to offer him every inch.

He only lightly stroked the outside of her thigh with his fingertips- never even closing his hand or squeezing the twitching flesh.

Please take me with you! Rhonda winced. It did no good. His smile remained the same but his eyes twinkled- throughly pleased by the fact she ached for him to join her.

‘Come back at the end… we can fly home together!’ She begged.

‘Close your eyes, I will be with you all night and the night after that! You will never be alone again, not tonight or any other night- unless you want to.’

His voice was rough and seductive as if he’d been courting the moon.

This is an excerpt- Rhonda’s story of Eros, immortality, love and lusty Vampire Slavery as told by Mystery Mika

Unwilling she squeezed- attempting to hold in the dew droplets that made her insides swell and nipples harden as they seemed to be frozen within the center of the pulsating, rhythmic Altamont Speedway.

Why doesn’t he just take me? She pondered to herself through an Ecstasy- Vino Noir haze. She had drank a lot of wine but the full bodied fermented blossoms did not dampen her craving for his juices. Instead she floated half conscious on a mosaic cloud.

I would do anything he asked of me, at this point in the game- Right or Wrong. She tried to correct her thoughts but her Will was too strong and strung out to listen to reason.

Power driven, the unconcerned patrons strutted and danced for one another. Slightly they pressed their sweating body against hers as they answered the beat of the base guitar. The razor sounds had no impact on her. She only had feelings for him.

There were too many people between them and he was almost at the edge of the massive crowd. For an instant- he paused to tease himself with the neck of a sun dipped brunette and then he moved onto a milky blond. Each invited him. With her eyes completely closed, Rhonda could witness his every stroke before his bite.

According to his whispers, this is how she was to learn to hunt for him if and when there was a need. Even though she was not a killer she looked forward to the moment that she could do something for him. After watching him do it so many times, she thought that she was more than ready to suck the blood out.

The only part that she hated was when he did it- the women experienced so much pleasure before the end came. Rhonda told her self that that pleasure should only be hers but she knew that the closest she would ever get to it would to feed him.

He mocked her jealousy by saying that he preferred his women dripping from all crevices.

In time she would get her chance. The day would arrive that she will be summoned to his rescue. He told her that she is in training for that day. Until then she should focus on getting what she wanted from her power.

So, quietly she watched him dance and hunt the crowd. From where she stood it looked as if he was having the time of his life. Every since she was little , she wanted his kind of Edge.

Rhonda’s noticed how her tongue got hot as soon as he got close enough to grip the unsuspecting next victim.

He circled a blonde’s pale earlobe with his nose. His right hand found its way under her skirt. With a sharp finger nail, he slit her pantyhose. Under her maddening platinum curls he slowly sniffed the back of her extended neck as she tossed her head back to the shrill guitar.

Again, His needle thin fangs located behind his porcelain dentures bite into her jugular vein. The blond sank to her knees in wasted tantrum snatching like an animal at his belt buckle.

Rhonda wanted at least that much from him but her skinned was already peeled and her fibrous muscle was too tough for him to waste. She was a Keeper. He wanted her for something other than a quick meal. He wanted her soul as a host for his afflicted memories. Rhonda was in training to be his Eros Slave for the next century.

In her dreams he made her follow him to the concerts where he liked to feed. As a captive she was made to understand his thirst and intentions. Now that she knew his secrets- she did not want to disappoint or loose him. She felt empty when she angered him and abandoned when he blocked her out of his consciousness. She hated the things he did but could not bare to turn her back on him. Aside from that she wanted the wealth of immortality.

Stay with them. He motioned into the air as he levitated a few feet over the crowd. Go do your thang! Dance, enjoy the music. Let loose…Find a guy or girl. Have some fun, he ordered.

Obediently she stopped in her tracks and turned around to face the opposite direction. Rhonda forced herself not to look back over her shoulder. What he did was his business. If she was lucky she would never see him again.

Unfortunately she was already peeled away too much of her humanity. There was no turning back from the journey she was on. She was mad and would likely die in jail for unmentionable, blood sport crimes if he decided he had no use for her.

I will be becoming a full vampire when he is ready for my service! She tapped her heart. She smiled to herself as she noticed the irregular flutter. As the pounding gets weaker- I get stronger. Good bye 9-5!

Her heart tried to fight but it was no use- her soul was committed to leaving this human slave life behind. She hated the President, the company she worked for and her neighbor’s chihuahua.

Ten years ago, she was at the top of her game. She had a boat house and hot girlfriend. She was average looking and grateful until the War and all the pay cuts that followed. After she lost her job, the only thing that made her feel alive was sex with strange men. The next morning she would scrub herself and try to wash the agonizing desperation down the drain.

Until she met her Vampire Master, she wanted nothing to do with the sinister film of her actions. When she found him, she found herself. He offered her everlasting peace by letting her blood run to her knees. When she was on the brink of life he stuck his ancient cock in her mouth and allowed her to taste a few droplets of his immortality. He withdrew the pipeline before she could get her fill. It was enough how ever to make her rush to the window when he arrived.

On the first night that she flew with him, she had lied to herself. She said that she was only going to do it once his way. She promised that she would beg God for forgiveness and stick to it. She told herself that she would bring him into the light but instead she was engulfed into his velvet lusty night.

His embrace was unforgettable.

His lips moved to overwrite the smoke in the air: ‘there’s plenty of time, you’re not going anywhere alone again- unless you want to!’

Thinking back to the beginning she laughed out loud at her silly worries. Her average girly concerns.

From their first kiss, she knew she was chosen to be his mate. She was annoyed with human artificial hypocrite love.

Now, not only did she want him to have her body; she wanted to give him her silent discretion.

Every time he mounted her, his ivory silhouette was frozen as he pumped because she stopped time to measure his honesty.

Was this true love? Would he commit to her? Did she have what it takes to become a real vampire. Deep down did disbelief still exist? Could she be a monster?

Was there nothing to stop her from making his power her advantage?

Tune in next time for Eros Slave, The Longing as told by Mystery Mika!

Welcome Amsterdam Craigslist

21 07 2008

This is almost the place Amsterdam Vixens. Pantyhose Haven is just a click away. It would have been so much easier to just include my email address and website url in my invitation on craigslist Amsterdam but won’t allow it. Please check out Mystery Mika’s exciting premiere pantyhose fetish fantasy dancer listing.

The experience of adding your Pantyhose Portrait, stage name and location promises to be everything you dream of by offering you a tasteful listing opportunity. Pick up some new fans by becoming a part of the ever evolving erotic fantasy gallery.

The Ultimate Trick Daddy or the Pioneer of the Modern Poster

12 07 2008

Thunder had come and gone unnoticed. The crowd was thick and streamed inside without a break. Women wiggled and clanked rock glasses in the misty folds of the party atmosphere. Jack Daniels, Hennessy and Tequila were a plenty for their disposal.

Sally was so cute in her pink fishnets. My adoration for her could keep me up all night painting if I didn’t have bills to pay.

The men where relieved to be in the friendly confines. They toasted and boosted as they tossed off another difficult week.

Nothing has changed in Chicago- more lay offs and the cost of fuel still climbing higher, leaves every class wondering how bad it’s gonna get.

Location changes but History keeps repeating itself.

Moments in life can be a symphony of occurrences until a tinker bell comes along and turns it into a movement. Henri Toulouse Lautrec achieved exactly that by using the risque Entertainer as his muse.

Watch this video to see where Mystery Mika draws inspiration.

Mannheim Road off of the Eisenhower Expressway near Chicago is about as close as you will get to Paris 1890.

Hopefully my upcoming poster art will make you want to come have a beer at Bobby’s Bar!

Pantyhose 4 More

25 06 2008

Happy Wednesday Pantyhose Slave. As I sit here soaking up the sun and typing to you I am sweating into the soft cotton crotch of my magnetic nylons that are clinging to my browned sturdy legs. I’ve been dancing all night.

In about an hour I’m on my way to dance some more and sweat some more into the silky pores of my pantyhose.

When I get to work I may just decide to switch pantyhose for a cooler pair… these ones will be baked with my crotch candy by the end of the drive… depends on whether or not I open the sun roof and part my thighs.

If there’s time, I’ll stop at the drug store to pick up an entirely fresh box or two of pantyhose. My work bag is crammed with moderately used stockings and sheer to waist pantyhose. If I want to wear those some more I really should do it while I am at home.

The best way to sweat in my pantyhose at home is to take my dog for a run while wearing the nylons under my jogging pants.

I much rather do that to insure quality Mystery Mika Pantyhose to my Pantyhose Sluts than to than to wear three at a time in the summer.

Be sure to instant message your Pantyhose Mistress today at for a delicious pair of Pantyhose.

If you are in Chicago, stop in at Bobby’s Bar you get them fresh out of my steaming bag.

All tributes are accepted with paypal.

Mika’s Pantyhose 4 more Vitamin F (FUN) are $25. Not only is Mystery Mika wearing them for Fun… Mika’s Pantyhose are officially for Sale!

Make ’em runnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn sluts!

That Foul Bastard strikes again!

3 03 2008

No one can get a Lady to take off her shirt as fast as Twitter’s Foulbastard. Who is this kid that says he is located where ever he wakes up?

When Foulbastard directly messaged me to participate in the first ever breasts of Twitter collage   I immediately directed him to my biography page to decide if my circa 1990 profile photo with erect nipples was what he was looking for. 

Social networking in itself is a mystery. What is this new tool of communication and how do we make it work for us? What do Twitters consider Work? How does Play factor in? What does social networking do for artists?

For one artists don’t need to hope and pray for a gallery to become interested in their work for exposure and feedback. Due to the Internet- it’s is anybody’s Gain Game.  

Well that depends on who ‘us’ is. Which category do you fall into? Are you someone stuck at home because you work from home? Perhaps you are ill and just want to keep your mind off of your next doctors’ visit.

No telling, whose who in the Twitter Breast Collage because Foulbastard trimmed off the faces.

If you are a twitter, you could be a tech geek looking for a group to test new software? Do you work for an ad agency- are you attempting to build revenue by directing readers to advertisements. Widget Masters want to know.

Whoever you are and what ever you do- Foulbastard ask you totake off your shirt and we happily did it. Now we are all celebrities!

Recently Snoop Dogg’s people created a Twitter account.

I don’t expect it to do very well because Snoop Dogg doesn’t follow anyone. The web link is to a boring fan site.

Twitters (me) that are into celebrities (foulbastard) want the inside scoop on being a celebrity not paparazzi. 

If we aren’t just looking for information from like minded people we are reaching for Cyber Stardom ourselves. Twitters have something to say. We aim for the tools to express ourselves. Some of us would like to generate income- but generating money is not what keeps us checking for updates from the toilet or in the mist of traffic.  

 Snoop Dogg doesn’t offer anything. Sorry Dogg, the site is so flat it doesn’t even offer an escape. 

Personally I only want to swap/trade Snoop Dogg next guest appearance on David Letterman for one of my signed Mika’s Crack Mugs. This seems highly unlikely since Snoop Dogg hasn’t even allowed for Direct Messages. 

There are many sites that revolve around only sex. Even though I can sometimes post mature subject matter or vocabulary- I can’t stand to see images of cocks and balls splashed in my face.

To me being sexy requirres class.

I have my standards. Foulbastard’s Twitter participates did a lovely breast job of being sensual. Breast are alluring and non-confrontational.

Foulbastard probably had his mind in the gutter when he conceived of the Twitter breast collage but his good heart overtook his other anatomy. The collage is so well done it could easily become a poster for Breast Health Awareness.

If I could pour Foulbastard in a mug- he would be just right. I want to see more collages. The frame is adorable and there seemed to be care taken in the placement of the images. This sort of balance is easier said than done.

Social networks like MySpace seems to attract the younger age group (teens and early 20’s) I’m dragging on myspace.

Twitter is nothing like that. Twitter is for the layered Pioneer Professional. In order to do well on Twitter and achieve a fair amount of followers you must have 3 or more of these traits: clever, inspirational, informative, tech advise, responsive, and above all you must make time to talk to a few of your followers. 

Foulbastard got his Boobie Beauty done by being all of the above and much more.

In conclusion mystery Mika gives Snoop Dogg and thumbs DOWN!

Twitter’s very own, man from the under ground, FoulBastard comes up with a fat thumbs up. Keep up the good work you smelly clown. kisses!

p.s. the views and opinion expressed here in this commentary are only that of Mystery Mika- no Twitters have been polled